Life — June 14, 1928 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Fer Gawd's sake, Ambrose, go easy on the amount of molten lead you pour down that heretic's throat. Remember, lve got to lug him away Yau Recoro IN A PINCH— Wues Mrs. Ethel Watts Mumford, the novel- ist, finished her last book she decided to go abroad for a rest and change of scene. She took a boat for the Mediterranean but as she wanted quiet she did not join up for any of the land excursions, At Athens, however, she hired a motor and went on a little sightsecing trip alone. Arriving at the foot of the Acropolis, she climbed up the hill to the Parthenon, When she caught sight of the wonderful structure, its sheer beauty affected her to such an extent that she fainted from pure ecstasy. She collapsed on the spot and it was several min- utes before she regained her composure. Some of her fellow passengers on the ship, who were not far behind her on the hill, came up as she was lying on the ground. One of them, a matronly-looking woman—the type George Ade described as invariably found in the back seat of a Ford in the Middle West—bent over her and patted her on the arm. “I know how you feel, dearie,"” she sym- pathized. “My feet hurt, too.” —New York Evening World. GARNISH ANGUISH A spaic of parsley on a chop Excites my fear and loathing: Into the gravy it will hop And splatter on my clothing. —C. B. De C., in New York World. A courte of scientists over in Paris are tying to split an atom, but we hope one of them relents and lets the other fellow have the whole thing.—New York Evening Post. A ptcatuton is any combination of ten athletic events. Such as putting up a srecn door.—Detroit News. “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” IMPERIOUS CAESAR ing through the usual term examination writes a correspondent of the Man- chester Guardian, “I came across the following indication that the old-fashioned ideas of manly virtues are still alive in Lancashire: ‘In his do- mestic relations Caesar was not very gentle. He spoke harshly to his wife as if he had been addressing the senate. Another good point in Caesar is that he was honest.’ "° —Buffalo Courier-Express. _ AND OUT!" Barrexev Boxtr: ‘Ow many more rounds? Oxe oF His Stcoxos (gloomily): Only about ‘alf a one, I'm afraid. —Pearson’s Weekly (London). Eant Carrout has it from Joe Frisco that the purpose in raising the subway fare.to seven cents is to keep the rabble out. —New York Sun “Moxey Marters,"” reads a headline in a contemporary. We quite agree; it does. —Humorist (London). The India Rubber Man Tells a Fish Story. —Covumsta Jester. +7. “Why the clarinet if you don't know how t play i?” “Oh, that's to frighten people with.” LIN TRANSIGEANT (Panis). PLENTY Tue Searrs had been at it again. “And furthermore," said Mrs., concluding her long tirade, “you certainly aren't much of a husband,"* “Well, my dear,’’ Mr. retorted wearily, can wuthfully say that you are a lot of w —American Legion Monthly. A STUD RETRIEVER A voc was recently operated on for the recov ery of a collar-stud which it had swallowed. It seems that the intelligent beast caught it just as it was dashing across the floor to hide. —Punck. Revisto version: Go to the picnic, thos sluggard.—Louiseille Times. “It's dreadful the way you run after the ladies—and at your age, too!"’ “Well, remorse is preferable to regret, as the saying is—especially as I never feel it anyway.” —Le Ring (Panis). rather an cxf though comicbooks.com