Life, 1928-05-17 · page 8 of 42
Life — May 17, 1928 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes the British horse racing season, specifically the Grand National and Derby races mentioned in the text. The tall building illustration on the left depicts spectators crammed into windows and packed structures watching a race—a visual joke about the crush of crowds at these events. The accompanying article by Robert Benchley humorously describes the chaos of race day: people losing their glasses, shouting confusingly about horse positions, and the general pandemonium. The small cartoon at bottom right shows a man telling a boy to "Button me, big boy"—likely a visual gag playing on racing terminology or class-based awkwardness. The satire mocks both the pretension of English racing culture and the human confusion it generates among spectators.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
LIFE W 2s irirtas ! HAA Whe “Gee, Fred, if there’s anyt’ing makes me noivous, it’s t’ have people lookin’ over me shoulder when I woik!” Tuis seems to be the time of year when ‘ople either make love or race horses. There was the Grand National last month in Liverpool, the Derby next month at Epsom, the Kentucky Derby this month right here on terra firma, and my little niece, who seems like just a baby to me even now, is getting married on the twelfth. On the whole, I would recommend getting married in preference to attend- ing a big horse-race, especially an English one. As a veteran of one Grand National (1928), my suggestion would be to buy two good horses and race them at home or in an armory, where the weather doesn’t matter so much. I am very fond of horses and am often seen patting them, but being fond of horses, or even horse racing, has no more connection with an English steeplechase than being fond of fish has with a trip across the ocean, Not quite so much, in fact, for on board a boat you can order fish, but at an English race your contact with the horses is purely theoretical. Come with me to the race course on an English Grand National or Derby Day and let us watch this sport of kings and commoners. [t is raining gently; so we will take our places in the grandstand, field glasses poised ready for the start, hat turned down over the eyes and drip- ping, nerves tense, shirt riding up the back Where are the horses? Over there in the mist, only a quarter of a mile away, ready to start. They're off!....No, they're back again!....Now they're off! ....Nope! Too bad!....Lower your glasses and fix your hat.....Now, while you do this, they're off!....Up, quick, with your glasses!....Where are they? . ++. That is a section of the crowd that you are looking at.....The horses have disappeared into the mist half a mile away..... They're off! Now the thing to do is while away the time until they come into sight again, maybe six minutes later. It has begun to rain nicely now; so let us go out into it and romp. We can either eat a cold meat pic in a tent, or we can slip and slide along to the paddock where nothing is happening at all (in contradistinction to the race-track, where nothing is happen- ing either), or else we can stand and look through our glasses and make be- lieve that we sce something through the mist. There they are!....No, that is a bookie. ...three bookies.....What can be keeping the horses?....They're off! They're Off! Who knows some good card games? Some that can be Bayes in the rain. § | you look at people through the Wrong & end of your La glasses they look aw. | ™ fully funny, but they don’t always know ag why you are laughing at them and 50 it th is well to explain: “I am laughing at a you because you look so funny through fe the wrong end of these glasses.” Even | & then they may not like it. _ Here come the horses!....“Bunsen Ww Burner” is leading... . .No, that is “Cel. ery IT.”....Who is up?.... Holmes... .. o That cannot be Justice Holmes, can it? e Court is still in session in Washing- a ton.....“Tonsilitis” is down!....Up hee car you ag: gu sta ih da Spl velc strit at But or you “Button me, big boy.” No 8 boy. thei has again.....Down again!....Up again! | wou ....Up again!....Where are the horses, | nun anyway?....Those were just policemen | thre that we saw running.....How about a] wer meat pie? not They're off!....Buckety-buckety!.... | Dor Here they come! Half a second and] wan they'll be right into the home stretch. | me, Roll up your coat collar and pull dowa| Yea] your hat over your eyes because it is} Traf raining hard. Put your glasses away in} wha the case and get up your umbrella..... | out- They're coming down the stretch now.} men ....Who’s that leading? ... .1 wouldn't know.....Out into the rain and intoa} nice warm automobile and home to a nice warm hotel. Who won? Who won? ....I didn’t wait to find out....-It} Jr would have been all over in a minute] B: more anyway. liste Robert Benchley. | dial. ~~ CAN YOU BEAR IT? = Auice: Why don’t you accept Dick? H Virctnta: Oh, he wants to marry m fine to reform me! comicbooks.com