Life, 1928-05-17 · page 4 of 42
Life — May 17, 1928 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The page is primarily **advertising and literary content** rather than political satire. The dominant image is a **Fernox advertisement** featuring stylized art-deco imagery of a reclining figure—typical 1920s consumer product marketing. The "Song of a Vain Regret" by Elizabeth Dillingham is a romantic poem about a failed relationship, reflecting common magazine verse of the era. The substantive editorial content, "None But the Brave," satirizes **tipping culture and service-industry expectations**—listing absurdly detailed and often contradictory demands guests place on bellhops, maids, Pullman porters, and waiters. The satire criticizes both the unreasonable expectations placed on workers and the workers themselves. This reflects genuine post-WWI tensions over American service standards and labor practices.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
ON’T let summer find you tired this year. Forget hard pavements and city streets for a day or two. Soothe winter worn nerves by ashort cruise down the St. Lawrence. A few days on one of the luxurious steamers of the Canada Steamship Lines. . . pleasant, lazy days of sailing down the blue St. Lawrence to Murray Bay ... or Tadoussac... or the Saguenay... will increase your capacity for enjoying the summer and will improve your golf. It doesn’t take long . . . it doesn’t cost much « « » but it willdo you a world of good. Write for full information. Or better still,come in and let us plan your trip, CANADA STEAMSHIP LINES 715 VICTORIA SQUARE, MONTREAL, Que. 46 YONGE STREET : TORONTO, Ont. DETROIT, Mich.— 419 Dime Bank Bldg. r RK, N.Y.— 535 Fifth Avenue PHILADELPHIA, Pa, 202 Liberty Bldg. PITTSBURGH, Pa. 195 Union Trust Bldg. ROCHESTER, N.Y.— 705 Temple Bid BOSTON, Mass.— 216 Old South Bldg. BUFFALO, N.Y.— Ellicott Square CHICAGO, TL.— y. Adams Street xie Terminal Bldg. CLEVELAND, Ohio— Union Trust Bldg. Song of a Vain Regret I never loved you and it never mattered That all was false you ever said to me. Before our dream was born, dear, it was shattered— A thing that could not be. And yet our masquerade was rather prett More graceful gestures I shall never sei Why did we waste such art on—there’s the pity— A thing that could not be? Strange that the memory of your careless kisses Shadows a love of fine sincerity; That, having found the real, one oddly misses A thing that could not be. Strange, too, how often I have sighed and faltered Singing a Certain foolish melody... At times [ almost wish that we had altered A thing that could nor be. Elizabeth Dillingham, None But the Brave Some time ago, it seems, President Coolidge approved the fol- lowing tipping schedule: bell boys and hotel maids, thirty cents a day at the most; Pullman porters, twenty-five cents; waiters, twenty cents a meal. For those rates the individual is entitled to the following attentions, and he or she should see that they are received. From the bell boy: ice (if it isn’t melted by the time it gets to you); your suit (two or three hours after the time you needed it most); windows open that you want closed; windows closed that you'd much prefer open; any popular selection whistled off-key through the teeth; various unnecessary sug: gestions as to stationery, stimulants and amusement, and a dirty look. From the maid: total disappearance of pajamas; total dis appearance of soap; more towels than you can possibly use until it comes time to use them, when you find you haven't any towels at all; complete rearrangement of personal effects on bureau and thorough inspection of contents of bureau drawers (approval, ten cents extra); disappearance of extra blanket ten minutes before sundown; furious agitation to st room to rights at any time when it is least convenient to you; promise to return at more propitious moment; promise never realized; another dirty look. From the Pullman porter: the dust from the hand-power vacuum cleaner over your trousers (skirt); your tan shoes shined with black polish; the cinder board surreptitiously re moved from your window; your berth made up some time around three-thirty in the morning, and if you ever do get to sleep after the way he has arranged the bedding; your suitcase thrown off at a way station while you are mercitully unconscious. From the waiter: waiter will burst into tears of gratitude, making up a neat package of a dozen knives, forks and spoons, which he will insist you accept; will pick out the best coat and hat in checkroom and give them to you; will buy you a half-interest in the restaurant with his hard-carned savings—who ever heard of giving a twenty-cent Up [4 waiter? Henry William Hanemann. A MINISTER'S SON WRITES HOME Ay Oxford undergraduate, a son of the Vicarage, discovered that he was uncomfortably short of doubloons, so he spent som time concocting a letter which should have the right effect upoa? somewhat severe and pious parent. When finally completed, t letter read as follows: “My dear Father, I wonder if you ¥ oblige me very greatly by sending me a copy of this month's Pari? Magazine, also a five-pound note. P.S.—Don’t forget the Parist Magazine.”"—Sporting and Dramatic News, comicbooks.com