Life, 1928-05-10 · page 43 of 50
Life — May 10, 1928 — page 43: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertising**, with a humorous short story and satirical poems as filler content. **"The Song of Pan"** is a comedic monologue in exaggerated working-class dialect about a woman approached by a theatrical producer offering her a stage role. The satire targets predatory behavior in early entertainment—the producer's manipulative pickup lines ("Ya can go a long way") are transparently sleazy, and the woman repeatedly rejects his advances, ultimately threatening to call security. The humor derives from her sharp comebacks deflating his smooth talk. The **advertisements** promote tobacco products (Cake Box Mixture pipe tobacco, Cortez Cigars) and Crown Lavender Smelling Salts. These are period-appropriate luxury goods marketed to affluent readers. **"Melodious Pipes"** is a light poem praising modern smoking pipes, punning on "wireless" (contemporary technology) while referencing Pan, the mythological god of pipes. The overall page reflects 1920s urban culture, gender dynamics, and consumer marketing to middle/upper-class audiences.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
\_| | i ee lle | NW THE SONG OF PAN “[ woz downunna tha counna, cleanun up some junk, an’ when I cummup furrair, thairee wuz Leanun onniz cane like Aydolluf Men-jew....An- nee wuz awdresstup ta go_heart- breakun....Gawd’s giff ta wimmun. _..Annee sezztamee, ‘I been watchun fa twenny minnuts,” he sezz, annye s2z, ‘My Lawd,’ I sezz, ‘juss lika cat watchuss a mouse, huh?’ I sezz. ‘Whassit all about?’ I sezz, annee sezz, ‘I'm a pradoosa,’ he sezz, ‘an- nime puttun onna show,’ he sezz, ‘an’ I wantcha furra part innut,’ he sezz, ‘yar_juss tha type,’ he sezz, annye zz, ‘How dya know I'm tha type ya think I am?’ I sezz. ‘I might be re- speccabul,’ I sezz, annee sezz, ‘Now lssun, lil guyl, ya cummun out wim- mee furra ii supper an’ we'll talkut over,’ he sezz, annye sezz, ‘Yeah,’ I zz, ‘ainnat nice!’ I sezz, annen he kans over tha counner an’ breez dowmmye neck, annee sezz, ‘Withem looks an’ figger,’ he sezz, ‘ya can go a long way!” he sezz, annye sezz, ‘Yeah,’ I sezz, ‘an’ walk back, 1 sezz. ‘Ya gutha wrong guyl, Kewpud,’ I sezz. ‘Go fine a blonn,’ I sezz, annee sezz, ‘Ya'll like me whenya know me bet- ter,’ he sezz, annye sezz, ‘I ain’t gonna know ya better, I ainno snake charm: er, 1 sezz, ‘annow lemmee tell one,’ I sezz, ‘if I call tha floor deteccuf,’ I sezz, ‘he'll fine a part fa ya,’ I sezz, annee looked ammee as _ reproashful azzif I'd kicktum inna slass, annee szz, ‘Ya don’t truss me, huh?’ he sezz —onnussly, Vick-turreen, he hammore gawl—Ya don’t truss me,’ he sez: ‘annat_ mace me feel bad,’ he sezz, annye sezz, ‘Me too,’ I sezz, ‘so don’t sannare any longer urrile bussout cry- un,’ I sezz. ‘Ya better take 'em spatss ouside,” I sezz, ‘because hiccums Misser Flannurry, anneze lible ta teach ya some new steps ta put inya show,’ I sezz, annye made a bluff at callun summuddy, an’ yorta seen Kewpud go innooizz danss, onnussly, he wuz five aisles away before I gommye breath back, tha lively lil rascull—on- nussly, Vick-turreen, ya shoulda senum pickunizz feet up an’ put- tunnum down. He wuz fass, what | mean. Onnussly, he leff me flat!” Heman Fay, Jr. STRANGER THAN FICTION “Tuey say the charming murderess s been convicted, but I can’t find anything about it in the paper.” “No? Look under ‘Oddities in the Day's News.’” Ir THE penalty for murder were 2 spanking with a wooden paddle there'd be plenty of protests that it should not be made of hardwood. “COOL UNDER FIRE” Old grads who smoked their first pipeful of Cake Box Mixture nearly 50 years ago are still sending us regularly th repeat orders! When this famous blend of tobaccos makes friends, it keeps them! If you haven't enjoyed the real “pipe peace” that Cake Box Mix- ture gives, you've a mighty pleasant surprise ahead of you. On sale at your tobacconist’ cor send cheque and shipp store) direct to us. -$2.50, 31.25, boc, or pocket package 30¢, tions (including the name of your tobacco eavitt & @eivce ine MANUPACTURING TOBACCONISTS MELODIOUS PIPES (A luxury for presentday smokers is a pipe with “wireless” attached.) Iw olden lore the pipes of Pan Shrilled through the forest trees: Today the pipe of any man Has the same power to please; For smokers learn that they can get A pipe “complete with wireless set!” —Cassell’s Magazine (London). DEVELOPMENT “Less than two years ago,” said the professional booster, with a wide sweep of his arms to include a new outlying area of his city, “this was all farm land.” “Is that so?” said the visitor, who was somewhat artistic and had a sense of beauty, as he looked over the shacks, pools of stagnant water, abandoned au- tomobiles, and so on. “Is that so? That's too bad.”—Detroit Free Press. Lavender Smelling Salts At home, at the theatre, while shopping or traveling, or if you find [rare in stuffy rooms or crowded places, the pungent fra- Jgrance of Crown Lavender Smelling Salts clears the drain, steadies the nerves, counteracts faintness and weariness. It is invigorating—a de! id com- fort. id everywhere. Schieffelin & Co., 170 William St., New York. Cortez CGars I-MADE.AT KEY WEST— comicbooks.com