Life — May 10, 1928 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Uarying in mode with the centuries, iewelry has been the magic medium with which to express sparkling charm of personality S that LAST Consult your Jeweler. NATIONAL JEWELERS PUBLICITY ASSOCIATION LIFE: Published Weekly by Life Publishing Company, 598 Madison Ave., New York. Subscription, $5.00 Vol. 91, No. 2375. May 10, 1928. Ent’d as 2od Class Matter, June Matter at the Post Office Dept., Canada. Copyright N.Y. Charles Dana Gibson, President; Langhorne Gibson, Secretary and Treasurer; R. E. 6, 188, at New York Poet OtSce, under act of Mareb 3, 1879. Printed in U-&. A. Ext \t 2028, Life Pub. Co., in U. 8., England and British Possessions. HAVE YOU MADE YOuR WILL? (Appoint the Mutual Distrust Co, Your Executor!) Have you ever stopped to consider the enormous number of deaths resulting from matrimony in_ this country? Statistics recently compiled show that out of every ten men who marry, SEV. EN die a violent death! Of these, four choke to death on early biscuits, one is poisoned (either accidentally or in the normal course of events), one is stabbed or mashed with a pair of bronze book-ends, and one dies of re. volver, rifle or machine-gun wounds. Of every fifty men who marry, TWENTY-FIVE escape by suicide, twenty are released by the merciful dispensation of insanity, and the re. maining five contract alimony and die of starvation. The death rate is higher in marriage than in any other danger- ous calling. In no other human activity are the instruments of destruction so close at hand—an instant’s work with an innocent fruit-knife and it is all over!... Examine these facts carefully. You will come to the inevitable con- clusion that no bachelor should allow more than a few hours to elapse be- tween the filing of marriage intentions and making his will, especially if his life is insured. Only too often the vie- tim of matrimony puts this important precaution off until he shall be settled in his new home—and then never even comes back from the honeymoon. Do the sensible thing at once. Let us draw up your will, providing that in case of your death by violence, your entire estate shall go to the Home for Blind Baseball Umpires, thereby pro- tecting yourself from your dear ones and insuring your future peace of mind. H.F. TAKING IT A maw took his wife with him for the first time to see a prize-fight. In the first round Battling Bunko knocked Young Attaboy down six times, moved one of his ears a few inches, dented one of his eyebrows and disar ranged his nose. In the second round Battling Bunko continued his advantage by sending in a terrific barrage of body blows. The third and fourth rounds were much the same as the first two. When the fifth round began, with Bat- tling Bunko still continuing his 0% slaughts, the young woman shook her husband's arm and exclaimed: “Goodness! I wish that Young Att boy would be a little less conservative.” —Youngstown Telegram. —— A petver into such matters S35 there are only seven original jokes, th first of which unquestionably is, “I #2 through with girls forever.” —Detroit Newt. Sherwood, BS t'd as 20d Co comicbooks.com