Life, 1928-05-10 · page 24 of 50
Life — May 10, 1928 — page 24: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This cartoon satirizes pretentious intellectualism masquerading as expertise. A passenger simply wants to open a train window, but a conductor responds with absurdly elaborate pseudo-scholarly justifications—citing Thomas Gray, the Malthusian theory, the Mayo brothers' medical research, and Euclid's geometry—to explain why the window cannot open. The joke exposes how intellectuals (particularly in early 20th-century Europe, suggested by the multilingual conductor) hide behind obscure references and complex theories to avoid straightforward answers. When the frustrated passenger finally demands action, the conductor abandons his pretense entirely, reverting to blunt working-class speech: "Listen, guy, if you want to open that window, open it yourself." The satire targets both pompous authority figures who cloak simple matters in unnecessary complexity, and the absurdity of applying grand philosophical and mathematical principles to mundane practical problems.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Tue Borer Maxer Takes A Littte Work Home With Him The Talk of the Town “BERLIN (ar). “‘Highbrow’ conversation about Goethe, Shakespeare and Bernard Shaw, mingled perhaps with learned opinions on astral bodies, the Voronoff theory and other scien- tific subjects, will be carried on in several languages by conductors on the German ex- press trains if the federal railway adminis- tration succeeds with its plans.” —News Item. Passencer: Hey, conductor, can you get this window open? It’s so blamed dirty you can’t see a thing outside. Conpucror: Doucement, monsicur, doucement! Was sagt the bard, Thomas Gray (1716-1771): “Rich windows that exclude the light, and passages that lead to nothing.” I refer you to Bartlett's “Familiar Quotations,” page 386. Passencer: I don’t give a hoot in— I mean, I don’t give a rap about Thomas Gray, or Bartlett, either, whoever they are. I want that window open. Conpuctor: Aber, Sefior, c'est im- possible. Perhaps you have not become closely acquainted with the Malthusian theory regarding Pullman car windows. Passencer: The who theory? Conpuctor: Malthusian. Mais n’im- porte. I sing of arms and the man— “Arma virumque cano,” as Virgil had it—no arms of man are physically able to raise a car window. You have noticed the latest discoveries of the Mayo brothers (William James [b.1861] and Charles Horace [b.1865], famed surgeons of Rochester, Minn.) regarding the ultimate limitations of the human body? No? A prea pity, Mynheer. Truly a fascinating rochure. But even if you are unfamiliar with that, surely the Fourth Proposition of Euclid should demonstrate the fact to you that the square of the hypotenuse of an isosceles triangle equals the square of the sum of the other two sides, hence theorem, Q.E.D., that a train window Meow! Giapys: And I asks him: “Where have you been all my life?” I says, Mance: Probably for most of the time he wasn’t even born, when shut, stays shut. The veriest glance at any up-to-date treatise on differentia] calculus would assure you of that. Passencer: Say, what's all this about? Conpucror (suddenly going native): Listen, guy, if you want to open that window, open it yourself. What you think I am, a_ perfessional window opener? If you don’t like the way we run things here why don’t you go back where you come from? Voila! Tip Bliss. Song of the Open Road Goop Luck State Maintenance Goodbye Use Fleischmann’s Yeast They Satisfy Stop—Look—Listen The Victory Six Picture Ahead It Comes in Sticks Caution Narrow Bridge Twin Hills Carter's Little Liver Pills Beware of the Dog Lux Rural Mail Rooms for Tourists Honey for Sale Drive with Care Sharp Curve Sound Horn Gas Free Camping Ground Pop-Corn Syracuse-Rochester-Buffalo Detour Kodak as You Go We Move the Earth Pike’s Peak or Bust Another Nash Excuse Our Dust Camels Chocolate Almond Bars Railroad Crossing Look Out for the Cars Time to Retire Swift’s Premium Ham Speed Trap Welcome to Amsterdam Wilson Micks. “Don’t you want to join the Heflin for-President Club?” “Who are the members now?” “Well, so far—Heflin.” comicbooks.com