Life — May 10, 1928 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Dear Pat. Witcaro: Well, sir, leave it to your old sidekick to discover points of in- terest in this man’s town. Whoopecee! If it still is here when Mrs. Keefe’s litle boy, Willard, comes back to do his alcoholidaying, then there really is a God. Someone appropriately christened it “The Furnace” and its sponsors describe it as “the hottest place in town,” which it cer- tainly is, and while I'm still breathless everything goes there except stealing the other fellow’s girl. In the first place, Wil- lard, they've got a crew of sepia-shaded syncopators that are sizzling. Then there’s a boogey named Alberta Simmons, who is as black as a woman's heart, who jug- gles a baby Knabe with the torridest left mitt I ever did get limp from. The so- called Very Best People are doing their slumming there these antemeridians and little wonder. . The gag is simply this, Willard. The darky entertainers wait on tables between solos and there’s never a lull in the pro- ceedings. The big idea is to get hot and if you throw a dollar at them the encores are endless. When I tell you that since it opened most of the other places are slipping faster than a girl in Hollywood who has been promised a screen test, believe you me! In fact it was so quict in one dive last night you could have heard a blackjack drop. Oh, I'm just filthy with dirt to tell OUR, LION DESIGN | HASN'T BEEN } UP TO SNUFF WE FIRST GET THAT BIG SILHOUSTTE AND THEN WE REDUCE (T 5,000 TIMES — WHICH TAKES OUT ALL THE (MPERFECTIONS Berino tHe Scenes or a Great INpusTRY Designing a new cracker in an animal cracker factory. you. They are saying the reason that chorus boys wear flowers in their coat lapels is that they won't stay in their hair, and I thought I'd collapse wheg I discovered that Paul Whiteman, who practically furnishes the nation’s dance music, can’t even two-step. Did you know that Alan Dale, the dramatic critic, who is really Alfred J. Cohen, got his name from the character Allan-a-Dale out of “Robin Hood"? Texas Gunman has 3 new show which features a real snake! One lad in her dive the other sun-y; refused a drink because he thought he was “that way” already. Laurence Stall. ings has purchased a No'th Cah'lin farm to get lonesome on. An antidote for that terrible feelin, after going too gay is called “The Prairie Cocktail,” which they say brings you to within fifteen minutes. It consists of an ounce of vinegar, a raw egg, fingerfuls of pepper and salt, and half an ounce o £ Worcestershire Sauce. Neysa Me Mein created another which is fashioned out of tomato juice, gin and spices and it is easier to choke on. Bouncers in the Broadway asylums are now known as “fire water extin guishers.” Harry Reichenbach a d- vises sure-thing bettors to play bridge with movie magnates as they can’t count over three. A certain phrail notorious for her two-timing was described by Arthur Kober as being double-faced as a Victrola record, and it is said that the inventor of the doughnut was a fresh-air fiend! Get yourself a load of Libby Holman warbling “The Way He Loves Is Just Too Bad” on Brunswick Record No. 3798, and Okch’s Record of ‘Honolulu Blues.” Otto Kahn of Wall Street has a new gray hair. Speakeasies which peddle bad hooch are known as “heebie-jecbie ken: nels” and a night club “ding-donged” out of business means that it has been stifled by the curfew law. The latest. of the Scotch quips concerns an Aberdonian who in April made an appointment with a friend for next Christmas, so he made a memorandum of it on a ten-dollar bill. Theodore Dreiser, the big verb-and-noun ma, holds regular Thursday salons at his new apartment. New Broadwayese for rub ber checks (the sort that bounce back) is “orphan poper.” The way you tell the country girls from the natives in New York is to watch those femmes who comicbooks.com