Life, 1928-04-05 · page 19 of 59
Life — April 5, 1928 — page 19: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct pieces of satire: 1. **"Repertory"** (poem): A humorous autobiographical poem about the author's romantic preferences, progressing from idealized ("golden blonde") to more pragmatic choices, ending with "I now have girls for every mood." 2. **"Figure That Out"** (cartoon): A husband-wife dialogue satirizing domestic budget disputes. The wife wants a car; the husband refuses because they're "stuck" financially. The joke lampoons marital financial tension and the husband's dismissive attitude. 3. **"The Movie Director Becomes a Presidential Candidate's Manager"** (article with cartoon): A satirical piece about a senator hiring a film director as his campaign manager. The senator lectures about political ambitions while the director remains skeptical about the candidate's authenticity and appeal—likely mocking both Hollywood's influence on politics and politicians' superficial image-crafting.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Repertory I THOUGHT I'd wed a golden blonde Like Joan, with tresses flaxen: My vision never soared beyond The Anglo-Saxon, ELAN TY Y For” t fae nomi 4 But soon I fell for a brunette As dark as Thomas Meighan, And Frou-Frou made me glad I'd met The European. Then Gretchen, sallow, olive-necked, ‘Turned out to be a panic; And I acquired a new respect For the Germanic. So muddled at this point I felt, I knew not whom to go at: ixed with Serb and Slav and Cel Se OEE Tinised with Serbiand:Slav'énd'Cele First Motorist (to driver of ancient car): Didn't hurt your machine, did I? And even Croat. Seconp Motorist: Thanks, no, You just spruced up my fender and smoothed the dent out of the radiator. T now have girls for every mood: My scope is nearly Shavian; I hope some it may include Hepes 4 The Movie Director Becomes a Presidential The Scandinavian. Candidate’s Manager “FMHERE is the nucleus for some- thing really big in your life story, Senator. I see something epic growing out of it, but of course you a give a damn about politics. What it wants is love, love, and more love. “That's how I size this thing up. You haven't given me anything at all Figure That Out I USBAND: I can’t get the car to go—we're stuck. The damned thing won’t budge! Wire: Wait — I'll run over to May's. I heard her say once that they keep a budget. “Wonderful things, these osculators!” can’t expect me to stick to this manuscript your secretaries have turned out. The highlights are wrong and the tempo is terrible. Those bums have you down as an orphan at the age of eighteen. We'll make it six. We'll make your mother tell you on her death-bed, ‘Son, I am expecting you to be President some day.’ That was your inspiration—not this stuff here about a ‘life-long de- sire to serve in fields of re- form and social progre: They've got you marry ing at the age of thirty- four. There’s no punch in that, no imagination. I see you marrying at twenty-one on the day of the Army-Navy game, right after you've scored three touchdowns for the Army. You've redeemed yourself, see? You've been a smart aleck and everybody is down on you, except the girl. She has to work with. We ought to throw the whole thing out and start all over. Why don’t you step down and let my brother-in-law run for President ? I don't think you're the type.” Tup. E she ever so humble, no one likes the home girl. Arnghon. had faith and so on and soon. As for this political Tue Ticket Tranter action here, that’s out— out! The public doesn’t A new invention for handling the long, long tickets now in use, comicbooks.com