Life — December 30, 1926 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

26 Life Our Foolishgjif+<e¢Contemporaries Ship’s Carpenter (to new deck boy): NOW, THEN, § ¥, DON'T STAND THERE STAR-GAZING. YER CAN FIND MY SPIRIT-LEVEL. —Weekly Telegraph (London). Curtain Call Nor long ago, a theatrical boarding house caught fire. In his spurt for safety a vaudevillian paused long enough to pick up an unconscious woman and carry her outside. In the midst of the spectators’ bravos the trouper ex- claimed: “Here, gimme the girl—I want to take a bow.” —New York Morning Telegram. The Regular Procedure “I wisit, Matilda,” said her husband, “you would agree not to talk when I am driving in traffic.” “We can discuss that as we go along, Adolphus."—Gaiety (London). Zeno in inducements: “I want you to go with me this evening, John, to visit some old friends I knew in my childhood town."—Baltimore Sun. We understand that the old adage has been revised to read: “Marry in hate and annul at leisure. ew Yorker. “ol, MY JIUSBAND IS NEVER BAD- TEMPERED EXCEPT WHEN 1 ASK WIM FOR MONEY.” “AND DO YoU Do TI “wny—rvery ING, —L’Illustration (Paris) “Aut Scissors aut Nullus” The New Champ Tne incredible Gene Tunney is finally explained, we think, by W. O. McGeehan in Liberty. Tunney, he suggests, is a Bunker Bean who convinced himself he was so good that he really became un- beatable for the moment, his radiating faith in himself utterly dazzling a con- founded Dempsey. This seems very likely. Everything Tunney has said, when you reconsider it, sounds like a man who reads and be- lieves Bruce Barton, Dr, Frank Crane, Edgar Guest and the Pelman advertise- ments. No wonder honest Jack Demp- sey was licked, He was up against the Spirit of the Age. —Rigq, in Chicago Evening Post. In the Rug Department “I want a smooth grass rug.” “Something for indoor golf?” —Lonisville Courier-Journal, “AREN'T TITESE FLOWERS OUT OF STYLE WITH THEIR SILLY HEADS ALL curtro!” —L'Intransigeant (Paris). But She Declined A spinster encountered some boys in the old swimming hole, minus everything but nature’s garb, and was horrified, “Isn't it against the law to bathe with- out suits on, little boys?” “Yes'm,” announced freckled Johnny, “but Jimmy’s father is a policeman, so you can come on in.” Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. In Cash Only Litre scandals, Day by day, Make the tabloid Journals pay. —Boston Transcript. Ir recent novels really do mirror mod- ern life, the woman who sticks to one man will soon be regarded as a mono- maniac.—Ideas (London). EXPRESSING IT TO A TEE. —Yale Record. The Hour Before Dinner Two husbands were talking over the trials of married life. They had about exhausted the subject when one inquired: “And what do you do while your wife is dressi “Oh,” replied the other, “that’s when I try to think of something original to say."—Windsor Magazine (London). On with the Dance Ir was Prom time at college. Fifty couples were dancing to the strains of mad music. It began to rain. A hundred and fifty couples were dancing. mherst Lord Jeff. Uspovwreoty personal liberty is a good thing, but we don’t like to ride with a driver who is full of it. —Dallas News. Aoxes: How do you like married life? Maste: Oh, let's not talk shop. —Kansas Sour Owl. Cook: WELt, 1’ BLESSED IF MiIssUs AIN'T READIN’ THE MASTER'S LET- TERS! SIE ’AS NO SENSE OP pecencr! —London Opinion. Ne comicbooks.com