Life — December 23, 1926 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Hill | Ha Santa Claus (professionally) THE TREASURES OF TH Jimmy: PLEASED TO MEETCHA, § TOO. SHE COULD DO WITH A MAGIC Assistant W L, here’s this German atroc- ity wasting hours of time and miles of film shooting close-ups that'll never be in the picture. If he’s a good director, I'm a good toe- dancer! “Yes, Mr. Sprudelsaltz. Yes, sir.’ If it wasn’t for me and the cameraman, that guy couldn't even find the set, much less direct the picture. We do all the work and he gets all the gravy. “Certainly, Mr. Sprudelsaltz. I think so, too.” He probably was a janitor in some German studio before they brought him over here. Just wait till they see this ope sembled! Then m they'll deport him! ‘*Mar- velous, Mr. Sprudelsaltz. How'd you ever think of it?” Why, I've forgotten more about directing pic- tures than that pretzel- bender'll ever know! Give some of us boys a chance instead of dragging over a lot of foreign waiters and letting ‘em direct. “Yes, Mr. Sprudelsaltz, of "Sure lucky for MA MORE course.”” that squarchead to get an assistant who can direct the picture for him! Soon 2 WELCOME TO TOYLAND, MY LITTLE MAN. MORE, Life pia SS ALL YULE ARE YOURS TO COMMAND. ‘D I’D LIKE YA TO KNOW MY MOTHER, KNICKKNACKS HERSELF. Director as I can save up enough jack, I'm going to Europe and come back here as a Lithuanian or a Walloon—then I can be a star di- rector and let some other bird do all the hard work. “Yes, Mr. Sprudelsaltz. I agree perfectly.” Robert Lord. TOY DESTROYER, AND PLAYTHING RULVERIZI —MAKES SHORT WORK. OF THE STyRDIEST: NURSERY ARTICLES MMA, This Will Delight the Kiddies! Bobby Goes A-Bicycling (Continued from page 8) At this he made a lunge for me, and fell off his bicycle, which got me to laughing so hard I had to stop, too. “And who won the Battle of White Plains, Father dear?” I asked him, trying to change the subject. “The Americans did, of course,” he said, brushing himself off. “Yeah?” I said. “So the Ameri- cans won, did they? Well, that shows what you know about it. The Brit- ish won. We had it in school only last week.” . “What school?” asked my father, very sore now. ot Harvard, anyway,” I said. “Yale beat Harvard, too.” “Yeah?” he said, getting redder and redder. “Yale beat Harvard by playing twelve men against Har- vard's cleven....And if you aren't a better boy, Daddy’s going to send you right back to Scarsdale on the 4:10 from White Plains.” “The 4:10 doesn’t stop at Scars- dale,” I said. “It’s an express to 125th St.” “Let's be getting on,” interrupted Lieut.-Commander Connelly. “This is no way to get to the North Pole— arguing about Harvard and Yale.” So we all got on our wheels again and pushed ahead, but I think I'll drop off at Mt. Kisco and see the Barry kids. My time is worth something. (Further bulletins from Lirr’s Bicycle Expedition to the North Pole will fol- low at fairly irregular in- tervals.) Two Department Store Managers Patronize a Slot Machine “TYPOCH-making sale!” “Unequaled !” “Phenomenal!” “Tremendous sacrifice!” “Outstanding values!” “Vast display!” “Going rapidly!” “This opportunity not occur again in years: “Spearmint for mine- Aw, the damn __ thing's empty!” W.W.S. comicbooks.com