Life, 1926-12-23 · page 25 of 37
Life — December 23, 1926 — page 25: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Why I Burn Whale Oil"** is a satirical piece mocking bureaucratic inflexibility and corporate indifference to customer needs. A man attempts to buy a gas range outright, but the Conglomerated Gas Company insists on an installment plan—allegedly because paying in full would "confuse the bookkeeper." After he agrees to monthly payments, the company never sends bills, then repossesses the range when payment doesn't arrive. The satire targets corporate absurdity: rigid systems that prioritize paperwork over logic, and companies that create problems through their own incompetence while blaming customers. **"Introspective Rebellion of a Young Wife"** presents a woman's internal monologue revealing marital discontent. She regrets not marrying a wealthier suitor (Oscar Fergus, successful in "the cosmetic game") and resents her husband John for objecting to her spending. The piece satirizes both her materialism and shallow reasoning—she acknowledges her mother's warnings about John yet focuses on his inability to provide wealth rather than actual character issues. The satire critiques women's financial dependence and the mercenary calculations sometimes driving marriage decisions. Both pieces use humor to expose social and economic frustrations of the era.
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Why I Burn Whale Oil WENT to the Conglomerated Gas Company to get a gas range. A salesman noticed me prowling among the gas ranges and accosted me. “Well?” he challenged. “T want to rent a gas range,” I said. “You can't rent a gas range,” he replied. “We don't rent them; we sell them. Do you want to buy a gas range?” I saw no harm in it; so I said yes, and bought a gas range. “How much is it?” I asked. “Twenty-one dollars,” he said. That seemed fair enough. I drew out the money and prepared to pay for it. “You sternly a bill. “I'd prefer to pay for it now,” I said. “I don't like bills.” “Impossible,” he said firmly, “It would confuse the bookkeeper. We'll send you a bill. You get the stove on the installment plan and pay for it at the rate of three dollars a month.” ‘I'd much rather pay the whole amount now,” I said. “It's against the rules,” he said. “It can't be done. The book- “T know,” T said. be con can't pay for this,” he said —not now. We'll send you “He'd So,” continued the s: man, “we'll send you a bill for three dollar: “Well,” Tsai pay the first installment * he insisted; ‘we'll send you a bill.” So, rather than confound the Conglomerated — Gas Company's bookkeeping de- partment, I compromised, and it was understood that I was to receive a bill for three dollars every month for seven months. The range arrived and was duly installed. A month passed. I received no bill. Two weeks more and I began to think the Conglomerated Gas Com- pany was just a jolly old concern which made a lot of fuss about gas ranges and then installed them free of charge. Then one morning a group of rather rough-looking men entered my residence and started to detach the gas range. “Here, here I “WI goes on?” ‘ got orders from the book- spin’ department to take this out,” the leader of the group informed me. “But I need that range. What do I have to do to get it back?” He grinned; his colleag grinned. “You might try payin remonstrated. bill oncet in a while,” he said, and exited laughingly, accompanied by R.R. my gas range. THE EDITOR oF Social Etiquette RECEIVES A TYPEWRITTEN CONTRIBUTION, you START ON YOUR BI SPRINT, MR. CLAUS, THER JESTION 1 WISIL You’D ER FOR OUR READERS, Santa: wei? Reporter: witat ane you GOING TO PUT IN P CHES BROWNING’S STOCKING? Introspective Rebellion of a Young Wife Vf OTHER was right I should never have married John the idea of his saying what he did to me to-night just for charging that coat when I didn't have a decent rag to my name he’s a brute there's no question about that Mother was right I should have married Oscar Fergus he’s terribly sue cessful in the cosme game too a thing a wife could be interested in but how can John expect me to take any interest in any- thing as repulsive as the underwear game especially when there’s no money in it anyway he says so but it’s probably just because he's so dumb that he can’t make any money at anything I'd go to Oscar in a minute if it wasn’t for the scandal he always was crazy about me what a fool I was not to take him just because he used tonic on his hair there's the baby howling again well I just don't care if he does let John go and attend to the brute Mother was certainly right! Lloyd Mayer. him HEN, too, a chapped lip—ask the man who owns one—is not all that it’s cracked up to be. comicbooks.com