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Life, 1926-11-25 · page 37 of 44

Life — November 25, 1926 — page 37: what you’re looking at

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Life — November 25, 1926 — page 37: Life, 1926-11-25

What you’re looking at

This is a humorous sports satire by cartoonist Parke Cummings. The text mockingly describes a college football game between the "Purple" and "Scarlet" teams using grandiose, epic language—comparing players to Greek warriors at Troy, Thor, Apollo, and Siegfried. The prose is deliberately overwrought, treating a simple football match as world-historical combat. The joke's punchline: all this epic struggle means nothing when Clarence Jones, the star halfback, is called away by his mother to fill the kitchen wood-box. The entire battle suddenly ends because a Boy Scout must do chores. The satire targets the overwrought sports journalism and fan enthusiasm of the era, mocking how Americans elevated college football to mythic importance while ignoring mundane domestic reality. A mother's practical demand deflates the grandiose masculine spectacle instantly.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Under the Moon of the Caribbean A French Line Winter Cruise in Tropic Waters From February Sth to March 6th IRDLING the Spanish Main —where Henry Morgan raked the seas... freebooters and treasure ships. Days of gold—like doubloons poured from aravishedchest. Spangled nights—drifting tropic fra- grances. Strange ports that enchant — strange flowers— riotous, warm, vivid— this is the path of romance on this cruise to the Caribbean, The S. S. Lafayette swift—and smooth—and lux- urious. Decks gay with games or parties—music and dancing under glowing lanterns. Trips ashoreat Bermuda, Nassau and Kingston—smart winter play- grounds—brilliant with British soldiery... Havana, LaGuaira, Curacao, Colon—all foreign landsandnopassportsrequired. Sailing from Philadelphia February Sth You live on board throughout the trip surrounded with every attention —incomparable French cuisine — gracious service—no changing to hotels—the bother of shifting lug- gage. Thirty colorfuldays. Fares$325 to $1200 including shore excursions. heenech Line 19 State Street, New York City Write us or any French Line Agent or recognized Tourist Office for brochure Life The Big Game Bet the Purple Avalanche was cee not to be denied. Fighting like Titans these youthful supermen tore through the Scarlet’s line for terrific gains as the sod trembled be- neath their feet. Eighty yards down the field the Violet Wave rolled re- lentlessly as the twenty-two combat- ants fought like the Greeks and Tro- jans on the plains of Troy. Eighty yards and a touchdown while the air reverberated with the shricks of the victory-crazed onlookers, But goaded into a fury the Scarlet Tempest lashed out at last and spread destruction in its wake. Gain after gain was torn off as this and that Cardinal greyhound swept around the ends with the speed of Diana or hurtled through tackle like the hammer of great Thor himself. The Purple Juggernaut was fighting tooth and nail now, fighting as the Spartans fought at Thermopyle to defend their homes against the rav- ages of Xerxes’ army. But it was of no avail. With the crash of some gigantic ocean liner running full speed into an iceberg in the storm- lashed waters of the Frozen North, a mighty-limbed Scarlet back hit the Purple Terror in the middle of the line and ricocheted through for a score as bedlam broke loose on the sidelines. But the Violet Earthquake gath- ered its forces and battled with re- newed fury. Like the darts of Apollo the skillfully planned Purple passes hummed over the heads of the befuddled Scarlet Battalion as the Violet ends snared the twirling oval and raced with the speed of a Man- o’-War to irresistible gains. And then Fate, which has decided so many of the world’s great battles, took a hand. As the twenty-two young Siegfrieds lined up in the middle of the battle-scarred gridiron there echoed through the storm- plagued air a voice which struck ter- ror into their hearts as the voice of the snaky-locked Medusa _ struck terror into the heart of Perseus: “Clarence Jones, you come here this minute and fill up the kitchen wood-box!” And so Troop Number Three of the Hacksville Boy Scouts, being without the services of its star half- back, was out of luck for the rest of the afternoon. Parke Cummings. Son of a Politician B: baa, black sheep, Have you any pull? Yes, sir; yes, sir, But all the jobs are full! The Shoe that Different ATHLETES know everything fails when the feet fail. So they wear walking shoes as well as sport shoes of proper construction. Men in business are taking a leaf from the athlete's book. They too are looking for shoes to keep them young and active. Their search ends at Foot-Joy, Often Spoken Of As “The Smartest, Comfortable Shoe.” Send for the Foot-Joy book. It contains in- formation every man who wants to retain his youthful stride should have, and latest shoe Styles for all occasions. FIELD & FLINT CO., Brockton, Mass. Also makers of The famous Arsalomiff, Shoes for Men comicbooks.com