Life, 1924-09-04 · page 15 of 36
Life — September 4, 1924 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate pieces of light humor writing rather than political cartoons. "Pallade of a Puritan Complex" is a poem by Baron Ireland mocking Puritan sexual repression—the speaker desires to be "bad" and break moral rules, expressing frustration that goodness is "terribly slow." "Reserving a Shave in Jonesville" is a humorous anecdote by McCready Huston about a traveling salesman trying to book a haircut at a hotel barber in Arkansas, satirizing small-town inefficiency and the contrast between rural and urban service standards. "Time and a Half" is a brief domestic joke about a plumber's daughter receiving overtime pay. The page's illustration depicts rural/outdoor life, likely accompanying one of these pieces. There are no political cartoons or caricatures present.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Pallade of a Puritan Complex HE beauty of Lilith is rare (As men to their misery know!) ; There's a lure in the wave of her hair. There's a trap in the turn of her toe. In her smile lurks destruction. There’s woe (I've heard) in the tilt of her tam. In her glances lies ruin—and oh! I wish I were worse than I am! There was a young lady named Claire. There was a young lady named Flo. I wondered how much I might dare. I wondered how far they would go.... I bought them a sundae or so, Then one of them called me a clam, Then both ran away with a show.... I wish I were worse than I am. I want to be devil-may-care! I don’t want to be pure as the snow! I'm crazy to have an “affair” And gulp down three drinks in a row. 1 want to play “Wham! Little Joe!” And “poker”; and learn to say “Damn!” Being good is so terribly slow! I wish I were worse than I am! L'Envoi I call it you, Conscience, although It's the fear I'd be caught in a jam! What's that line about “ods dyara”? I wish I were worse than I am! Baron Ireland. Reserving a Shave in Jonesville ‘TP like to get shaved, but I'm going to be here only two days,” said the gray-haired traveling salesman to the lead barber in the Hotel New Trianon, Jonesville. “I ex- pected to squeeze into a chair in Fort Wayne yesterday as I've known a boss barber there for twenty years; but the shop was taking care of the department store trade and couldn't give me an appointment. me if I'd leave my address. “Before the girls took over the barber shops a traveling man always knew one place to look for a friendly welcome. If this keeps up a fellow will have to wire ahead for a haircut, the same as for a room. If I didn’t have a drag with the people in the Pantlind in Grand Rapids, on account of being an old customer, I'd probably arrive in Lansing at the end of the week looking like Jack Dempsey does when he keeps a professional appointment.” McCready Huston. They said they'd write Time and a Half PPRECIATIVE PLUMBER (to daughter): That young man o’ your’n ‘Il get along, Janie, my girl! He's just sent me a bill f'r th’ overtime he spent a-courtin’ you last night. Tourist (in the Ozarks) : ARE THE MOUNTAINS OF ARKANSAS VOLCANIC? Moonshiner: DUNNO, STRANGER, BUT IT’S A DEAD CERTAINTY TH’ MOUNTAINEERS ARF. Man Moves in a Mysterious Way THE real purpose of Mobilization Day is to prepare for peace. Soon we may expect to read news items like these: “Medium Bill” Jones is spending his days at the chess board, preparing for the Davis Cup matches in tennis. Miss Kitty Smith has gone to the mountains to enjoy the surf bathing. Sam Sliver is attending medical school in order to learn undertaking. “Preparation in medicine,” says Sam, “will make undertakers unnecessary.” WoL. We comicbooks.com