Life — September 4, 1924 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

MAZIE, THE STENOGKATHER, RETURNS FROM THE SEASHORE AND DIVES RIGHT INTO HER WOKK The Wandering Joke OW it came to pass in the days when the tribes of the Begats covered the earth, that a young lad, Methuse- lah, being but r- score age, climbed up one of the masts of the Ark, which he visited after the Flood. And Noah, seeing this, said to her of Methuselah, “Behold, thy son is in great danger; if he lets go of the mast, he will descend and suffer a grievous blow on the head.” “Yea, verily,” said the father of M thuselah, “but he will not let go.” And the people of the Begats knew it for a good joke...then. IL. And after seven and twenty cen- turies had passed, Xenophon with ten thousand Greeks set out upon the Anabasis. And for three and_ thirty parasangs they marched and found nothing but the tracks of camels. And then Cyrus, the young son of a hoplite, climbed a tall tree to view the country. And Xenophon, seeing him, cried out to the hoplite, “By Zeus, take care of your son! If he lets go, he will fall, thus breaking his head.” 2 said the hoplite, “but he will not Iet go.” And after the troops had marched cleven days’ journey, two and ninety parasangs, all the hoplites and strategists and gymnasts cried, “I see! I see!" They saw the joke...then IIT. Now it befell after divers centuries that a prince hight Beowulf did grapple with the mother of a monster hight Grendel. And after the two did thrash about at the bottom of the sca for a years of week or eight days, the earls and thanes left the Round Table and came to sec the leavings of battle. knight, still mother by the arm. “An he Iets go,” quoth Sir Senna- shawl, be hewn hundred pieces. “Yea, sirrah,” quoth King Arthur, “but he will not let go.” Whereupon he smote his thigh and roared heartily. So all the nobles joined in the laughter, seeing that it was a kingly jest. That was a gude joke...even then. IV. Ages passed, and the super-journal- ist, Brek Halm, was pounding out the Beowulf, the had Grendel's parfait “he will into an Autobiography of Battling Joe Smits, the champion heavyweight. “At the tender age of seven,” wrote the autobiographer with sudden inspiration, “I was taken to see a battle- ship, such as I later helped to manu- facture during the recent great struggle. I was foolhardy even then, and | climbed out to the end of a yardarm before any one noticed. The crew cried out on seeing my danger. Mr. Smits,’ said the captain, ‘if your son lets go, he will break his thick skull.” “*Yes,’ said my father sorrowfully, ‘but he will not let go.” And when Battling Joe read that ancedote in his autobiography, he chuckled and saw that it was a good one...even to-day. Vv. Moral for future lives of great men: It isn’t copyrighted, and it’s going to be a good joke just as long as the boy doesn't fall and the reader does. L. Werner. Talked to Death ECESSITY and Opportunity met on the street. “Hello, Opportu- nity.” said Necessity, “you look all in.” “Lam all in,” replied Opportunity “For months I've been knocking at the doors of offices, and all I ever hear is that the occupant is in conference.” ~ “HOW ARE YOU GETTING ALONG AT SCHOOL, JIMMIE?” “FINE. WE'RE LEARNING WORDS OF FOUR CYLINDERS Now!” comicbooks.com