Life — April 3, 1924 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

- LIFE - | NEW YORK good stores MENTHE MELANGE Mixture 15 Mints Delightfully Refreshing the Coming of Easter, Make It a Practice to Read : Life regularly. “Get the Habit” is no idle phrase. Methodical people accomplish much in this world. For our summer programme, if we get the habit of hav- ing a good laugh that brightens us all through, each week, a naturally cheerful, hopeful view point will soon develop. The world will look less blue and our summer will do us lots of good, and Readers of LIFE with Its Laugh on are Every Page good laugh with every issue! Try it yourself for six months, or try our Special Offer Enck 1 find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20, $1.40) sure of it Foreign Send Lire for the next ten weeks to LIFE, One Year $5 598 Madison Avenue, New York Canadian $5.80 Foreign $6.60 23) The Same Old Story sack in the Paleozoic Age, Back in the dawn of time, When beasts with unpronounceable names Played rollicking. frolicking primitive games In the antediluvian slime, Before his cave sat a primitive man Who was known to his neighbors as Fred. As he whittled away on a fragment of bone He mumbled and grumbled in dolorous tone, And these were the words that he said “Well, things ain't like they useter be. Them good old The young folks now act much too free, Them flappers is too fast ys is past A flint ain't worth a flint no more, It makes me feel sad To think them good old days is o'er Like when I was a lad.” Then, in the golden age of Rome, When Augustus ruled as Lord, And the Roman Imperial eagles held thrall With their legions the regions from Egypt to Gaul By the might of the buckler and sword, Before his house sat a Roman knight, He was known to his neighbors as Ned, And he growled as he gazed upon orchard and vine, And he quaffed a big draught of Falernian wine, And in excellent Latin he said . res ain't like they fucrunt Them bonae days has went 0 fresh these young pucllae sunt this here Roman gent sterces now are under par, It makes me feel quite sad, weep to think how worse things are Than when I was a lad.” And now in the good old United States, In this present year- Di; Where the flivver, the phone and the talking machine, The jolly old trolley, and cinema screen Bring pleasure to you and to me, Upon his porch an American sits Who is known to his neighbors as Seth, And his paper he reads as he sits at his ease, And he swears as he glares at the news that he sees, And he angrily growls ‘neath his breath “Well, things ain't like they useter be This land has gone to pot A good sound thrashin’, seems to me, Would help these kids a lot A dollar's worth a quarter now, nd things look pretty bad, Yes, times have grown much worse, somehow, Since when I was a lad.” N.C. Humanisms “Tue most dangerous girl,” said the psychologist, per- mitting himself a dignified twinkle, “is the one who makes every man think she thinks he thinks he isn't good-looking.” eee To have a person agree with everything we say is worse than living alone. eee People who have nothing to say shouldn't go to the theatre to say it i comicbooks.com