Life, 1924-04-03 · page 27 of 60
Life — April 3, 1924 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous poem by Mabel Houghton Collyer mocks the exaggerated propriety and fashion anxieties of a bygone era—likely the Victorian or Edwardian period. The "dreadful adventure" is a woman named Nell losing her quilted petticoat while crossing London Bridge, causing her acute embarrassment. The satire works on multiple levels: it ridicules both the absurdity of women's restrictive undergarments and the extreme mortification such an incident supposedly caused. The poem ironically invokes romantic rescue fantasies (a "gallant knight" like Sir Walter Raleigh) while noting that onlookers merely laughed rudely. The concluding couplet—expressing gratitude that "we have no petticoats to lose"—suggests this was written for a modern (early 20th-century) audience, positioning contemporary women as liberated from such fashion constraints and outdated modesty conventions. The accompanying period-costume illustrations underscore the antiquated nature of the scenario being mocked.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Dreadful Adventure OW, fie, for shame, I hate to tell The tale | am about to quote The lovely lady, Mistress Nell, Did lose her quilted petticoat! She was a-crossing London Bridge. Or some great bridge of equal fame, And when she reached a certain ridge. Why—down her quilted “petty” came. Can you imagine such distress As vexed the lovely lady Nell? Perchance she wore a filmy dress When her disloyal “petty” fell. Perchance her stockings were awry. Since stockings are not prone to stay. Now, was there not some gallant knight— Some Walter Raleigh with a cape, To screen the lady fair from sight And speed her home in fitting shape? I must relate that every swain Who her predicament did spy It was enough to make her cry. Did cause the lady further pain To have her “petty” act that way. By laughing rudely. fit to die. And whet did lovely Nellie do? She draped her skirt about her head To hide her blushing cheeks from view. The while to some retreat she sped. Ah, shall we not in fitting way Upon poor Nellie’s anguish muse, And thank our stars that now, to-day. We have no petticoats to lose! Mabel Houghton Collyer. comicbooks.com