Life — November 15, 1923 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The same standard uniformity always Complete standardization—of our tobacco purchases, our blending processes, and every stage of manufacture—enables us to offer you this cigar of standardized uni- formity and distinctive value that is unique in the industry. All three sizes of Robt Burns Cigar‘are full Havana filled. Benrak National Brands—New York City ‘THREE POPULAR SIZES— 10c, 2 for 25c and 15¢ After all F nothing satisfies like / a good cigar «fff aoe Only Sound A critic went by request to hear a certain politician make a speech. “Well,” said the politician, after he'd got through—‘well, how was it?” “Sound—very sound,” said the critic. “Yes,” said the politician, and then, hungry for more, he beamed and added, “Sound—and what else?” “Nothing else,” said the critic. —Los Angeles Times. “In 2023,” says Professor Low, “women will dress like men.” But they will take longer to do it, of course. —Ideas (London). Relief ) > 6 BELLANS SELL-ANS FOR INDIGESTION 25¢ AND 75¢ PACKAGES EVERYWHERE FOOLISH Ahead of Time The prohibition officers had come to the door of Mose Jackson’s house on the quest of an illicit still. The door was opened by Mose’s youngest boy, a pick- aninny about seven years of age. “We're prohibition officers, son,” said one of the men, “and we've come to search your father’s house for liquor.” “You won't find no lickah heah, boss,” said the boy. “Why, we jes’ put the mash to soak las’ night!” —Everybody’s. His Handicap A very stout and portly gentleman was once asked why he did not play golf, and this was his reason: “I did try it once, but I found that when I put the ball where I could see it I could not reach it; and when I put it where I could reach it, I could not see it.”—Golfing. One Grip Kine: I see you're trying out for Blue Curtain Dramatic Club, Bill. Had any experience? AvotHer Same: Yep—had my leg in a cast once—Oklahoma Whirlwind. | | The Martinet “Boys,” said an Irish sergeant one day to a party of recruits he was drilling, “| want yez to undherstand that I’m wan iy the best fellas in the world. Do ye all believe that ?” “Yes, sergeant,” answered all the mem- bers of the squad. “That's all right. I’m a rale good fella except whin I’m on duty, an’ whin I’m on duty I’m a baste. Isn’t that right?” “Yes,” faintly answered the squad. “That's all right too. An’ now jist re- mimber, boys, I’m always on duty.” —Pearson’s Weekly (London). Ina Pinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE Well and Happy A gentleman who has a boy away at college was rather anxious to hear from him and complained as mail after mail arrived with no word. One day when he received a letter from the bank he smiled and said: “The boy is O. K. I have indirect word from him. The bank says the account is overdrawn.” —Soldier (Kan.) Clipper. A Changed Man ; marriage hasn’t changed him s as big a drunkard as he ever was.” “Yes, but he used to drink for pleasure ; now it’s from sorrow.” —Sans-Géne (Paris). U BPat orf WANT INFORMATION? ANY SERVICE? ON PACIFIC COAST? For investigations, collections, general or legal services write the Pacific Co-operative Service Bureau, 823-A Lowe's State Building, Los Angeles, California. Highest references furnished comicbooks.com