Life, 1923-05-24 · page 37 of 42
Life — May 24, 1923 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces: **"Free Versatility" (left column):** A satirical monologue by someone claiming extensive self-improvement credentials—correspondence courses in multiple trades, ten years of *Literary Digest* subscription, mastery of etiquette manuals, familiarity with high culture, public speaking skills, and completion of Harvard's "Five-Foot Shelf." The joke: despite all this conspicuous self-cultivation, he *cannot find employment*. This mocks 1920s self-help culture and the gap between credential accumulation and actual job market success—a timely concern in the post-WWI economy. **Advertisements:** The page is dominated by cruise and alcohol advertising, including Canadian Pacific's "Round the World" luxury cruise (promoting 18-country travel for $1,600+) and Moquin Vermouth wine. The satire targets how Americans invested in self-improvement schemes that promised success but delivered little practical benefit—a commentary on consumer culture and American optimism meeting economic reality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Free Versatility Iaman unusually versatile young man. I have taken all the correspond- ence courses and have been thor- ghly trained in bookkeeping, electrical engineering, cartooning, business administration and motion picture technique. Ihave subscribed for ten years to the Literary Digest, and can argue fairly and accurately on both sides of every important question. 1 have devoured all of the sixty- eight volumes of the Book of Eti- quette, and know that a soup plate should be tilted away from the r, that a man should always re- ve his hat when greeting a lady of his acquaintance and that the groom should stand on the bride’s ight during the wedding cere- mony. I read Vanity Fair every month and am thoroughly familiar with the progress of Art, Music, Soci- ety, Sculpture, the Drama, the Cin- ema and the latest wit in London, New York, Paris and other well- known capitals. I also read the American Maga- zine and fully understand the se- cret of success. I have mastered the art of Pub- lic Speaking, and am never at a loss when called upon suddenly to address a large assemblage of peo- ple. I have gone through Dr. Eliot’s Five-Foot Shelf inch by inch, and am on easy speaking terms with all that is best in literature. 1 have developed my personality to the breaking point. But somehow or other, my nu- merous and varied accomplishments don’t seem to get me anywhere. There is one serious catch in the machinery. : I can't get a job. R. E. S. IrELAND has one of the ear- marks of a free state. She starts with a deficit. Ai, Vin: "S rw" a ° EIGHTEEN COUNTRIES IN ONE CRUISE Canadian Pacific Agents Atlanta . 49N. Forsyth Street Boston . 405 Boylston Street Buffalo . . 160Pearl Street Chicago. 40N. Dearborn St. Cincinnati 430 Walnut Street Cleveland 1040Prospect Ave. Detroit . . 1239 Griswold St. Duluth . . Soo Line Depot Kansas City,Mo. 61 Railway Exchange Bldg- Los Angeles, 605 S. Spring St. Minneapolis 611 2nd Ave... Montreal, 141 Saint James St. New York Madison Ave. at 44th St. Philadelphia, Locust 15th St. Pittsburgh 340Sixth Avenue Portland, Ore. 55 Third St. San Francisco, 675 Market St. Seattle . 608 Second Avenue St.Louis . 420 Locust Street Tacoma . 1113 Pacific Ave. Toronto . 1 King St., East Vancouver . C.P.R. Station Washingt New York Avenue Winnipeg, Portage & Main St. To Sail cAround The World! To ports of a thousand romances! Now, for the first time, you can make the Grand Tour on the magnificent Empress of Canada [126,650 tons displacement} under Canadian Pacific manage- ment. This simple statement guarantees the high character of this Cruise Magnificent scheduled to sail from New York, January 30, 1924. Everything will be Canadian Pacific standard—there is none better, What golden experiences, what priceless memories these four months will give you-four months that yield a lifetime's travel! Fare $1600 and up from starting point in United States or Canada, back to starting point. Limit 500 guests. Shore excursions at ports of call included in fare. Privilege of side trip across India. Fifteen days over- land Shanghai to Yokohama. Eight days across the Flowery Kingdom. Privilege of stop-over in China or Japan, using any later Empress to Vancouver. Romance is excelsis. The last stone in the arch of culture. The greatest of all vacations. Around the globe under the flag of a Canadian Pacific Empress. The world is a passing pageant at your feet. Let the nearest Canadian Pacific Steamship Agent send you booklet and particulars. Let him look after all arrangements for you. theWorld Guise IT SPANS THE WORLD CANADIAN -PACIFIC OFFICES ALL OVER THE WORLD BORDEAUX, FRANCE. You can still get the unsurpassed flavor and blending qualities of Mouquin’s famous Ver- mouth—the product of 64 years experience in wine making. Demand the genuine by name at your dealer's. French or Italian style. “ORIGINAL RECIPES” ‘The booklet of wonderful secrets—free upon request. JNouquir; Restaurant & Wine Co. N. Y. Office, 483 W. B’way. Tel. Spring 0044. Week-enders WEEK-ENDERS who leave town Thursday and return on Tuesday; week-enders who are never without the proper costume for every occa- sion; week-enders who take only a tooth-brush and a comb; week- enders who rise at dawn; week- enders who fail to get up for din- ner; week-enders who arrive at three in the morning and are taken for burglars ; week-enders who write bread-and-butter letters; week-end- ers who never leave town; week- enders who never return to town. comicbooks.com