Life — March 15, 1923 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“If only the good were the clever,” Or if only the clever were good, The world would be better than ever We thought that it possibly could. But alas, it is seldom or never That either behave as they should. For the good are so hard on the clever, And the clever so rude to the good. —Public Opinion. Climbing Rich Man (to clerk): 1, started in at the lowest rung of the ladder. My first wife got only five dollars a week alimony. Now look at me!_ Paying three hundred to my last and I haven't stopped climbing yet. —Boston Transcript. Inconsistent Woman It worries mother for son to treat his young wife the way mother has al- ways argued that a wife ought to be treated—Country Gentleman. CONVALESCENT “Tell me, John, have you read my new book?” “Wuat's the automobiling ?” “The police.”—Georgia Cracker. greatest danger in “Yes, but I feel a trifle better by now.” —Klods-Hans (Copenhagen). The Cost of Art It was an obscure. theatrical comp; which came to a small town and found that the scenery provided for Act II (“Porchester Towers”) was a Venetian canal. So the stage manager ap- proached the actor whose part consisted of the announcement, ‘My lord, the carriage waits,” and pointed out that this admirable line might be susceptible of even more striking possibilities if it were altered to fit the Venetian back- cloth, “Make it: ‘My lord, the gondola is at the steps,’” said the stage manager, after some thought. ss Gad!” actor, clutching his hair. study.” —London Daily Express, the: Metropolitan Life “Old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old books to read.” Tue MANHATTAN VERSION: Steam heat to burn, new hooch to drink, the Hearst papers to read. —New York Evening Post. One for the Good Gray Poet This here new Chinese game was old stuff to Whittier. Thus: “Who touches a hair of yon gray head Dies like a dog! Mah Jongg!” he said. —New York World, Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions, Title registered in U.S. Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. The foreign trade supplied from Live's London, Office, Rolis House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C. Canadian distributor, The America News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, Canada. No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped axi addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for tic loss o non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two wecks prier to the date of issue to be affected, * - You will choose your new Spring hat for style, but if it is an Aetna you are also assured of quality by the broad guarantee of the Aetna satisfaction-insurance policy. Send us your dealer's name if he is not now carrying Aetna hats COTRELL & LEONARD Established 1823 DANBURY, CONN. «A Woman’s Hand May Rock the Cradle, but a Good Joke Rocks the World.” That joke will be found in with many another of equal merit. Their popularity is such that LiFr’s jokes are copied by our contemporaries all over the world and come back to us from afar. However, instead of awaiting their return, you can get the fun earlier by entering a subscription to LiFE, with its laugh on Every Page, and seeing them at the start. Try it for six months, or else our Special Offer Enclosed find One Dollar (Canadian $1.20, Foreign $1.40). Send Lire for the next ten weeks to Open only to new subscribers; no subscriptions renewed at this rate. LIFE, 598 Madison Avenue, New York One Year $5 Canadian $5.80 Foreign #3 comicbooks.com