Life — February 15, 1923 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

The dread Pyorrhea | | begins with bleeding gums | YORRHEA’Sinfecting germs any, cal Senos fas Proved this. y diseased conditions are now beee tiene bedoverhettrecics germs that d in pockets about the teeth. RI |, anaemia, nervous disorders and aie diseases have been traced in many cases to this ‘hea infection. ares ‘thet Procben wort betviases on your body. Visit your freapeny ifee teeth and gum in And watch your poet Frorhes, wich af iets Of five people over fo Sih tender’ and bleeding, oo i then the gumsrecede, theteethde- [4 cay,loosen andfallout,ormustbe [4 extracted to rid the system of the at their base. eepsthe gumshardan =the teeth white and clean. ‘Start using it today. Ll sed shrinkage has set in use han’s poe to directions and consult a dentist imme- diately for specialtreatment. sc and 60c tubes in S. and Canada. 3. Foran, Be D.8, FORHAN CO. ‘New York A CUT-OUT Edwina (after elopement tiff): Leave me, John—I wish to be alone! —Bystander (London). CrPe. - OUR FOOLISH CONTEMPORARIES a — The Old Way Is Better Now comes the news that in sev- eral states on the mainland marriage by radio has ‘been declared illegal. We can easily see that there would be confusion in the broadcasting of the marriage ritual. By listening in, we might hear something like this: Minister: “Do you _uta-dah-dah-ta- ta-tahadtadah Eloise Inch take this prunes closed firm to be your Texas Gulf oil Preferred 34 bid 36 lawfully wedded titmouse and woodchuck fable by Millicent Muddle?” Answer: “Shake a little shimmie on the shores of Kakaako.” Minister: “Do you, Clarence snap- snap-snap-buzz-click take this bedtime story by Kenneth Knee to be your law- fully wedded Sousa’s band in new and novel program?” * ANSWER? “Goodbye, Tootsie, good- ye.” Minister: “I pronounce you McKin- ley high school glee club in songs and instrumental music.” —Honolulu Star-Bulletin. InaPinch, use ALLEN’S FOOT-EASE Per Request Rastus, ever since coming back from the war, was proudest of the proud because of the empty O. D. sleeve that hung limply at his side. To all who asked and to some who didn’t he ex- plained that he had lost his arm charg- ing a “’sheen gun nest.” “Huccum yo’ so disregardless of yo’ health yo’ chahge dat ’sheen gun nest?” inquired an envious friend. “Hmph!” grunted Rastus. “Dey *pointed volunteers an’ I was one of dem.”—American Legion Weekly. The Perfect Servitor Butter: Her Ladyship’s instructions, Sir John, that, as you-have a cold, I was to bring you upa glass of hot milk with a little something in it. Invatip: Hot milk, Thompson! Me! T'll throw it at you. Butter: Yes, Sir John. That’s why T’ve only brought up “the little some- thing in it.”—Punch. His Professional Reputation Tue Doctor (to nervous patient) : To err is human; one can be wrong in one’s diagnosis . . . but speaking for myself, I have never had any comeback from clients upon’whom I have oper- ated—even when they died from the result of the operation. —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). Poor Kid! “Would your little sister like some fancy pastry ? I don’t think so, thank you. Shes’ ‘just eaten her paper cap and a fig!”—Glasgow Bulletin. Ford Story Unconfirmed reports say an African lion swallowed a flivver a few eins ago. He forgot to shut off the en; however, and shook to death in fiftee: minutes—New York Globe. At Smart Functions ! ine ' J. lends Elegance to the Table— World Famed for its Distinctive Excellence Abpollinaris Sele importers: Apollinaris Agency © Fifth Avenue at 4nd Street, New Yak Escaping the Critics He was showing his friends his new house. “This,” he said, “is an idea of my own. It i is my bridge-whist room.” “How very small! There is room here only for four chairs.” “Yes,” he replied, “that’s the idea I wanted to have one place whicre we could play bridge without being bothered by the experts who merely want to look on.” —Detroit Free Press. “How do you know that the thief who stole your car was a professional?” “No amateur could have started that car.”—Kasper (Stockholm). “At least you could’ take off your hat and return his greeting!” —Sans-Géne (Paris). An Easy Way to Remove Dandruff If you want plenty of thick, beautiful, glossy, silky hair, do by all means get rid of dandruff, for it will starve your hai and ruin it if you don’t. The best way to get rid of dandruff is to dissolve it. To do this, just app Tittle Liquid Arvon at night before retiring; us enough to moisten the scalp, and rub itm gently with the finger tips. By morning, most, if not all, of you dandruff will be gone, and three or four more applications should completely 1 move every sign and trace of it. You will find, too, that all itching of the scalp will stop, ‘and your hair will look feel a hundred times better. You can gt! Liquid Arvon at any mae store. A SS ounce bottle is usually all that is needed ‘The R, L. Watkine Co., Cleveland, Obie, comicbooks.com