Life — December 21, 1922 — page 37: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Civic Pride “ OTTENEST place on earth; R forgotten hole!” growled Phil. I agreed, tersely, for just as I yout to speak my feelings at there came the sharp, heart- ang of a blow-out—the third st two hours. I put on the and the car slowed down, - to a dead stop in a sea of mud. It was high tide, by the way. “How far to the nearest garage?” sled at some passer-by. nigh the steady downpour of penetrating rain, his answer nt. o squares ahead, then three right,” was his reply. “Got -out, ain’t ya?” dirty town; filthy people,” Phil I voted “Aye” on the propo- which was put to the meeting mes in the five-block drive. It + failed to carry unanimously. iow long to fix this?” I asked -chanic at the garage. ve it ready to-morrow morning time,” he answered. “You'll to put up in town to-night, some have thous “Sordid hole!” Phil sneered as we entered the shimmying taxi that took us he hotel; the only one. “Only another in the world like it; and [ think Calcutta has abolished that one,” said I. It was one of those hotels. One room less would have made it a boarding house. Oné more would have made it a barn. As it was, it rd to tell at first glance which was reserved for the horses. errible dump !” commented Phil. “Terrible!” I echoed. serable!” Phil thundered. ano Fifth /h enues kvortte/ re is SC mething fine about it We DEMUTHeC NEW YORK at the smoke * LIFE 29 W. L.DOUGLAS $5 $6 $7 &§8 SHOES FOR MEN and WOMEN W. L. Douglas shoes are actually demanded year after year by more people than any other shoe in the world BECAUSE W- lL. Douglas has been making surpassingly —+ shoes for forty-six years. This experience of nearly ferre century in making shoes Suitable for Men and Women in all walks of life should mean some- thing to you when you need shoes and are looking for the best shoe values for your money. W.L. DOUGLAS shoes in style, quality, material and workmanshi ip are better than ever be- fore; only by examining them can you appreciate their superior qualities. No Matter Where You Live shoe dealers can suppl; you with W. L. Douglas shoes. If not convenient to call at one of our 110 stores in the large cities, ask your shoe dealer for W.L. Douglasshoes, Protection against unreasonable profits is guaranteed by the name and price stam) pair before the shoes leave ‘on the sole of every 6 factory. Refuse sub- stitutes. The prices are the same everywhere. Ifnotfor sale in your vicinity, write for catalog. I, A TO MERCHANTS: If no dealer In your town handles W. L. Douglas shoes, write toda: for exclusive rights to handie this quic! Selling, quick turn-over line. W. 1. Douglas Shoe © 147 Bpark St. Brockton, ass, “Miserable!” quoth I. The last was an appraisal of our room. At that, I am afraid it was flattering. “Any cracked ice, gents?” asked the bellboy, lingering despite the per- functory tip bestowed on him. “For what?” countered Phil. “Well, I thought, maybe — most gents seems to want some cracked ice,” he explained with a smirk. “And some tall glasses,” he added. “Most gents have something to put in them, I suppose,” said I, wither- ingly. “But we, we are frozen nigh unto death, and we have none.” “No, and we never will have as long as we stay in this forsaken spot,” said Phil bitterly. He was growing more and more bitter with each passing minute. “Well, now, I don’t know,” com- mented the bellboy. But it developed that he did know. He knew full well, and as a result of his knowledge we soon had a quart of excellent Scotch. We had forgotten that our stopping-place was not far from the Canadian border. “Here’s how!” proposed Phil in good time. “To Blareville!” I responded, rais- ing my glass. “To Blareville, the garden spot of the earth.” “My home town!” murmured Phil, and his voice quavered with pride. J. K. M. The Cure Mrs. Mattsy: You say you cured your husband of dropping ashes on the floor. How did you do it? Mrs. Roserts: I had him give up smoking. Monomania. Y wife is crazy over paint, She strives the live-long day To daub things up the way they ain't; She’s funny just that way. She paints the stairs, she paints the floor, She paints the furniture; I smear my coat against the door, And yet I must endure. Her brush slides up and down our wall, No item lacks her trace; The dog, the cat—and that’s not all: She even paints her face! L. A. M. Impasse ScotsMAN (at telephone) : What's that, lass? Ye'll no gie me ma nummer till I pit in ma nickel? Na, na, T'll no be tricked intae that. I'll na pit in ma nickel till ye gie me ma nummer, “What! Dinner isn't ready? Then I'm going to a restaurant.” “But wait just five minutes” “Will it be ready then?” “No, I'll_come with you.” —Simplicissimus (Munich). comicbooks.com