Life — December 21, 1922 — page 36: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Heading the List He had just enlisted in the Navy and, conscious of the fascination of his nice new uniform, was improving his lag hours ashore by making frantic love Black Magic The story has just leaked out of a local colored fellow who paid a dollar during the Elk carnival to have his fortune told. The lady told him that he loved chicken, that he had won some ‘money on craps and that he had been in jail. The fellow gasped and said, “Mah goodness, lady; you has told me my inmost thoughts.” —Pratt (Kan.) Republican. In the Mirror of Downing Street “Upon the whole, for eight years there has been only one great states- man, one great diplomat, one great citizen—Lloyd George.” “Who says so?” “He does.”"—L'Illustration (Paris). Caré Patron (to neighbor). What! The famous tenor sat on your hat? How much will you take for it? —Meggendorfer Blitter (Munich). Doctor: “How is your flat heated?” “By growling at the janitor.” —Boston Transcript. THE DIAGNOSIS By a recent rule, we are obliged, in order not to alarm the pa- tient, to indicate a disease by a num- ber, not by its name. is suffering from No. 35. . .I am honor- bound by my profession to tell you nothing further. —Le Journal Amusant (Paris). “But do you swear that I’m the only girl you love?” she demurred, not quite convinced. “You know they say g sailor has a sweetheart in every port” “Don’t you believe that, kid,” he re. plied earnestly. “Why, I haven't been on my first cruise yet.” —American Legion Vi’ cekly, Elephantasy The young pygmy elephant which has arrived at the Zoo will, when full- zrown, probably not exceed six feet in height. On that scale there doesn't seem much point in being an elephant, —Punch, Andante Funebre DAuGHTER (at the end of a lengthy musical composition) : Isn't it too bad, Daddy; the man who wrote this piece died two weeks ago. Fatuer: Did they find the murderer? Your husband —Klods-Hans (Copenhagen), THE telephone is still useful for calling up a friend to say you ar ing him a message by radio. —Boston Tr: Lire is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. ‘Title registered in U. $ Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lire, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England, The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Koll Breams_ Buildings, London, E. C. Canadian distributor, Th News Company, Ltd., 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, ( No contributions will be returned unless accompanied hy s addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for non-return of unsolicited contributions. Notice of change of address should reach this office two to the date of issue to be affected. he loss or cooks pri ‘Mediterranean ‘Limited to 450 guests—about half capacity) By Magnificent New CUNARD S. S. “SCYTHIA” Specially Chartered Twin-Screw Turbine Oil-Burner, 20,000 Tons Sailing Jan. 30, 1923, returning April 2, visiting EGYPT Madeira, Portugal, Spain, Gibraltar, Algiers, Tunis, Holy Land, Constantinople, Greece, Italy, Sicily, Riviera, Monte Carlo, etc. The “Scythia” is a veritable floating palace, with spa- cious decks, lounges, veranda cafes, 2 elevators, com- modious state-rooms with running water and large ward- robes; bedrooms and suites with private baths. | The famous Cunard cuisine and service. (Only one sitting for meals.) Free stop-over in Europe, returning via any Cunard steamer from France of England at later date. Rates, deck plans, itinerary and full informa- tion on request. Early reservation advisable. Also De Luxe Tours to Europe, South America, Japan, China, California, Honolulu, West Indies, Bermuda, etc. FRANK TOURIST COMPANY (Batablished 1875) : 487 FIFTH AVE., NEW YORK 219 So. 15th ST., PHILADELPHIA & The Christmas Gift That They all Wanted was A Subscription to It ensures your being thanked for your gift—not' merely for your giving— and means the pleasure of receiving a satisfy- ing new present each week in the year. Just try this once and see for yoursclfl A Christmas Card in colors announc- ing your gift will be sent upon request. Christmas Offer: Enclosed find Five Dollars (Canadian $5.80, Foreign $6.60). Send Lire for one year to With a Christmas Card from Lire, 598 Madison Avenue, New York oa comicbooks.com