Life — December 7, 1922 — page 60: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

{AUT SCISSORS Apt NULLus I never wore a dinner-coat, Or anything that looked half-formal, But every other soul I’d note Was dressed in tweeds or serges nor- mal; I never went to an affair In striped tie and suit of gray, But every person who was there Fooled me, and dressed the other way.—Columbia Jester. To Be Demonstrated “Now that you two are one,” began the vicar. “Which one?” asked the demure bride. “Ah,” said the vicar, who was a mar- ried man. “You must find that out for yourselves.” —London Daily News. INTERVIEWER: And what made you take up weight-lifting as a profession? R: Well, I’ve always had s for that sort of thing. —Windsor Magazine (London). Mistress: I want you to continue to look after the catering, Mary, and shall give you an extra seven shil- ling a month, so that it will pay you to be honest. Mary: Before I agree, Mum, I must just do a bit of arithmetic to see ‘ow it works out. —Reproduced from Punch (London) by arrangement with the proprietors. The Philanderer In front of a Broadway restaurant yesterday we saw a_ small, Tagged urchin watching a girl in the win. dow baking batter-cakes. We thought we detected an air of wistfulness about the lad and our heart was touched. “Hungry, kid?” we asked. “Naw!” came his scornful reply “Can't a feller look at a swell dame without drawin’ no crowd?” —Bide Dudley, in New York % W orld. Bones from Everywhere “What is this, professor?” asked the low-browed visitor. “A dinosaur. I articulated it my- self.” - “You did what?” “I put it together.” “Well! well! Imagine being able to make a thing like that just out of odds and ends!” —Birmingham Age-Herald It Would Seem That Way Proressor: Why should we read all the best of the present-day literature? B. S.: So we can appreciate the paro- dies—Amherst Lord Jeff. LiFe is published every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and British Possessions. Title registered in U. S- Patent Office. $5.00 a year in advance. Additional postage to foreign countries in the Postal Union, $1.60 a year; to Canada, 80 cents. Back numbers cannot be supplied. The text and illustrations in Lire are copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply to Lirr, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, Fetter Lane, London, E. C., England. The foreign trade supplied from Lire’s London Office, Rolls House, Breams Buildings, London, E. C, Canadian distributor, "The American News Company 386-388 St. James Street, Montreal, No contributions will be returned unless accompanied by stamped and addressed envelope. Lire does not hold itself responsible for the loss or non-return of unsolicited contributions, Notice of change of address should reach this office two eks prior to the date of issue to be affected. The LAMP with the CLAMP Pat, U. 8. A., Canod. and Foreign’ Countries Adjusto-[ite jADIUSTO-LITE is the handy, economical light for home, office, store, studio—everywhere good light is needed. HANGS—CLAMPS—STANDS. The name says it—it’s quickly adjustable. A turn of the reflector sends the light exactly where you want it. No glare—no eyestrain. And— economy. Solid brass; handsome, durable and compact. Clamp is felt-lined—can’t scratch, 5-year guarantee. Complete with 8-foot cord and screw socket with 2-piece standard plug. Get an Adjusto-Lite today. If your dealer doesn’t carry it order direct S. W. FARBER, 141 So, Fifth St., Brooklyn, N. Y. Prices in U. S. A. and Canada, brass finish, $5; bronze or nicked finish, $5.50. | West of Mississippl’ and C: Rockies and in Marl~ time ‘Provinces, 25¢ per lamp additional. (Gormmemoradn the 50th Anniversary of our first 3 Around the World tour THE GOLDEN JUBILEE CRUISE —LIMITED TO 400 GUESTS— Sailing from New York Jan. 24 Returning May 31 by the specially chartered, oil-burning NEW CUNARD STEAMSHIP “SAMARIA” Visiting Each Country in Glorious Springtime. The gorgeous itinerary of 30,000 miles embraces: Medi- terranean cities and Egypt—four weeks in India, Dutch East Indies, and Straits Settlements—Saigon in Indo- China, the Philippines, and China—two weeks in Japan —~ Hawaii, San Francisco, and Panama Canal. . We suggest prompt reservations. Literature and full information on request. ‘SON 5 Bre y NEW YORK 56 Avenue comicbooks.com