Life, 1922-05-25 · page 23 of 34
Life — May 25, 1922 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**The Main Cartoon** depicts a child in a bathtub on a rocking horse, explaining to his mother that he abandoned his bath because "a fly fell in." This is simple domestic humor—the child uses an absurd excuse (being "disgusted" by a single fly) to justify avoiding bathing, a common parental battle with children. **"The Erie Platform"** is satirical political commentary. It mockingly proposes ten ridiculous "reforms" for New Jersey, ostensibly to make it attractive to senatorial candidates. The items absurdly suggest removing railroad infrastructure, obliterating the town of Harrison entirely, painting cities different shades of orange, and "discontinuing the entire state." This satirizes the dysfunction and poor conditions in New Jersey (industrial pollution, mosquitoes, undesirable towns) by proposing literally impossible "solutions"—the joke being that New Jersey is so problematic that normal fixes won't work. **The Golf Jokes** mock both Sunday golf (condemned by religious "blue noses"—puritans) and golfers who drink heavily during rounds ("about a pint and a half").
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
-in ins gle is ba- led ica th ng- L ula the nan wn eal- role “ous aun arles 1s). g $0 s of inless sort erary ; we book o lit- from we _ De- whole n the fe has >frain hough into » that d has makes ations, PSK AE o> hme VAP anne “Do you mean to say you have had a bath already?” “No, mamma, the tub was all full, a fly fell in, then I was just simply disgusted.” The Erie Platform Make New Jersey Attractive ‘OR the betterment and encourage- ment of the glorious state of New Jersey, competent authority suggests and advises that prospective Senatorial representatives adapt and incorporate the following measures into a platform. This, for the sake of convenience, may be referred to as the Erie Platform: 1. Removing tracks, ties, coaches and locomot of Erie R. R. and running double-decked omnibuses upon the old road-becl, thereby bettering the former train schedule and service. 2. Electrifying the Lackawanna R. R. as far as Montclair on the M. and E. Branch and as far as Morristown (the home of the big hot-baked millionaire) on the other. This will also electrify the natives. 3. The complete removal of the town of Harrison and the substitution there- for of formal, sunken gardens. 4. The removal of the Lackawanna RR. tracks from, in and about the South Orange Field Club golf course, or the removal of the South Orange Field Club golf course from, in and about the Lackawanna R. R. tracks. 5. Painting the various Oranges dis- tinctive shades—viz.: dark orange, burnt orange, light orange, blood orange, wild orange, tangerine. 6. Deodorizing Newark, particularly Branch Brook Park. 7. Muzzling and leashing all domes- tic mosquitoes and licensing same; de- stroying all those found to be without responsible owners. 8. Encouraging and fostering com- munity singing among commuters, morning and evening; awarding of an- nual prizes. 9. Exorcising the curse from Leonia, Hackensack, Passaic, Patterson, Plain- field, Watsessing and points south, east, west and north. 10. Discontinuing the entire state. H. W. H. ist GoLFrer: - What do you generally go around in, old man? 2np Gotrer: Abouta pint and a half! The Passionate Golfer to the Blue Noses ‘HE Hell you say awaits us folk Who golf on Sunday, is a hot And hopeless Hell; and we who trot About the links with quip and joke For hook or slice or foozled stroke Would dread its terrors to provoke If we weren't sure that there is not The Hell you say. Because it gives us joy to soak A little gutty on the dot— Breathe air, tread sweet green fair- ways—what ! Are we then damned to sweat and stoke? The hell you say! Bl. Tue “boss” is that man who comes too early when we are late and too late when we are early. comicbooks.com