Life — March 30, 1922 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“Happy the Home Where Books are Found” vay of egging people on to buy Eliot's Five Foot Shelf of books, the publishers are resorting to an advertisement in which are depicted two married couples, one reading to- gether by the library table, the other playing some two-handed game of cards which is evidently boring them con- siderably. The query is “Which One of These Couples Will Be the Happier in Five Years?” the implication being that the young people who buy Dr. Eliot's books will, by constant reading aloud to each other from the works of the world’s best writers, cement a com- panionship which will put to shame the illiterate union of playe Granted that most two-handed games ! of cars are dull enough to result in ! divorce at the end of five years, they cannot be compared to co-operative family reading as a system of home wrecking. If Lire were a_ betting periodical, to place on the chance of the following being the condition of affairs in the Ii family at the end of the stated time: (The husband is reading his evening The wife appears, bring- ing a volume from the Five Foot Shelf. To-night it is Darwin’s “Origin of newspaper. Hurry up and finish that Yell never get along in this Darwin if we don’t begin earlier than we did last night. Hvsnanp: Well, suppose we didn’t get along in it. That would suit me all right W If you don’t want me to read it to just say so... (after- thought) if it's so far over your head, just say so. Ht : It’s not over my head at all, It's just dull. Why don’t we read some more out of that Italian novel? Wire: Ugh! I hate that. I sup- pose vou'd rather have me read “The Sheik.” Hvsnanp (nastily): No-I-wouldn't- rather-have-you-read-“The Sheik.” Go on ahead with your Darwin. I'm listen- ing. Wire: It’s not my Darwin. I sim- ply want to know a little something, that’s all. Of course, you know every- thing, so you don’t have to read any- thing more. Hvsnanp: Go on, go on. Ww That last book we read was so far over— paper, the young card id we would have ten dollars *” Mrs. Nulywed (to husband, who has taken one bite of her first cake): You can’t eat your cake and have it, too. Mr. Nulywed: A lovely thought, dearest. Hussanp: Go on, go on. Wire (reads in an injured tone one and a half pages on the selective proc- esses of pigeons): You're asleep! Hussanp: I am not. The last words you read were “to this conclu- sion.” Wire: Yes, well, what were the words before that? Hussanp: How should I know? I'm not learning the thing to recite somewhere, am I? Wire: Well, it’s very funny that you didn’t notice when I read the last sentence backward. And if you weren't asleep what were you doing with your eyes closed? Husranp: I got smoke in them and was resting them for a minute. Haven't I got a right to rest my eyes a minute? Wire: I suppose it rests your eyes to breathe through your mouth and hold your head way over on one side. Huspanp: Yes it does, and wha’d’- yer think of that? Wire: Go on and read your news- I believe I prefer to have it. paper. speed. Huspanp: I'm perf read books in this set decent ones. Yes you are. sBAND: Wha’‘d'yer you are”? That's just about your mental y willing to you'd pick any mean “Yes Just what I said. is goes on for ten minutes and then husband draws a_revol and kills his wife.) Robert C. Benchley. Indian Pipes ITTLE strange pipes, do you never Long for a sight of the sun? Could you not play him a message Of mischief and laughter and fun? You are dim as a love long forgotten, As sad as a smile through a tear, In the lair of your dark forest shelter Are you dreaming of love or of fear? Katharine Adams, comicbooks.com