Life — May 13, 1920 — page 9: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

In the Subjunctive FI were « hotel waiter manicure, of fate were greated? the best the-yater 4 speculator, be poor, If I were otel waiter And you were a manicure! If I were xi pirate dd you were We'd neve a waitress fair, sain be irate ined a hi hirl we'd ¢ or care, ‘ate And yc re a waitress fair. li I wer taster plumber And yc re a check-room pest, a » would be a hummer, : shore in summer ; one must be a slummer our little nest. | a wealthy plumber And you but a check-room pest! If I were ent cutter And ye At price In satins And we And czxs that were newly Taid, If I wer arment cutter And you were a lady’s maid! vere a lady’s maid, e'd never mutter, | silks you'd flutter, Id have milk and butter But sinc ‘re on a magazine, I've hocked my lyre, grows daily shyer, ve no luxury higher an oleomargarine ! For I And va versifier re on a magazine Berton Braley. Q ook that teaches you & nae D MEMORY Qu.t5 sel*ucoy tn cand played he heard Sowy Gar An a3 aid 80 AYER rd AN, Best, See Saas, 1 New Yak ee h re Ros Supriy booause canfully pooled and ad night dows lo the’ ol (eScICUS mal, SAOF BVA MASTER CHEF OFA MODEL KITCHEN Handy Tins—All Quality Stores “The Daily Menu Maker” ruse cs noon CHT lewbarg. Chop san Hadlie au Gratin, Dev ru, Booed Chicken, Vieeoa Site Saceg a when this RUBBERSET brush went to work for Mr. Bassford and since which time it served him well until the date of his letter -was a long time ago naar cues, ‘Masrite Conterrace Rooms, Woow of Repersentations B Tastengion, BE The pemsereet Comargs + December 14, 1919 contioens 4B tawe Junk rend tr aleme's Letter te Lesitere, Eis Betberset brand is only 6 tid come Ard wi wine, warenneed Fran Freses & warrant is 90 and ott dotae datz, ine rietase are one tows 12 00 Laud or iene 49 stort 1 W7t eLipwine com tate the wag wld f entened te ames Aled vorven to prevent wie. The above is Number 17 of a series of adver- tisements NOT WRITTEN BY OUR AD. MAN © 1920 Rebber & Celluloid Products Co. Lome. =< Just think! —there were no auto- mobiles; the speed de- mon perched perilously (to himself only!) upon a_ self-propelled vehicle composed mainly of one wheel and one small “Member ‘em? very large very one. —there were "D you hear the this no acro- planes. over” —there were no movies Even in Los Angeles! telephones, trolley lights and bathrooms cars, electric home * few The rural visitor to the metropolis still blew out the gas, were “standard equip- and the wooden washtub in the kitchen did double duty on Saturday were and far betweer” coal-oil lamps ment,” big nights Gracious me! —William Jennings TOOTH * from In 1890 Bryan had never run f President. Not even t first time Wi had thing liam Hohenzolle not learned sor Dun could ha told him right off t bat—that the able presence of “ which Bradstreet presu Got in a purely worldly pa nership makes the fir a mighty bad risk. —and John Barleyco had never given any i dications of the home at movit old famili the corner the next block! By such tokens of t past you may reali that 1890 was a lor long time ago. THEN, AS NOW, th vise-like grip of ha vulcanized rubber RUBBERSET SHA ING BRUSHES w EVERLASTINGLY the job! BRUSHE every bristle gripped EVERLASTINGLY in hard rubbe| comicbooks.com