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Life, 1919-07-17 · page 3 of 40

Life — July 17, 1919 — page 3: what you’re looking at

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Life — July 17, 1919 — page 3: Life, 1919-07-17

What you’re looking at

This page contains a satirical story titled "If We'd Always Had Prohibition" that imagines historical figures discussing alcohol under a prohibition regime. The references include Cleopatra dissolving a pearl in vinegar, Socrates drinking hemlock, and various aristocratic figures (Lucrezia Borgia, the Queen of Denmark, Robert Bruce, the Cavaliers) all attempting to justify their drinking or discussing hoarded liquors. The humor relies on the absurdity of applying Prohibition-era concerns retroactively to famous historical moments, suggesting that banning alcohol would have fundamentally altered history itself. The page also contains advertisements, including one for the E.J. Thomson Company's custom car bodies, and a Hotel Champlain advertisement at bottom left.

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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

fou Get The Best Service year horseshoeing when the shoes are put on with Capewell nails. Speak to your shoer about it—insist that he use this brand. Capewell nails hold where others fail. Not cheapest regardless of quality, but the world’s best at a fair price. CAPEWELL HORSE NAIL CO., Hertford, Conn. If We'd Always Had Prohibition LEOPATRA had just dissolved a pearl in a cup of vinegar. “L read in the Sunday paper,” she confided to Charmian, “that this makes an excellent home-mixed cock- tail.” Socrates was dying in the midst of assembled friends. You should never have drunk that hemlock — stuff.” remarked = Phiedo agely. “It was my only mistake,” the phi- losopher replied. “I thought it would have more ‘kick’ in it than the near- beer we're getting nowadays.” Lucrezia Borgia had just handed some of her private brew to a trouble- some cardinal “You'll find this excellent,” she said “[ made it in my own still in the secret cellar of the palace.” The Queen of Denmark raised the fatal cup to her lips as Hamlet battled At the warning cry she replied “It can't hurt me; it’s only 2.75 cent!” Robert Bruce had just hidden in the cave. As he watched the spider weav- ing its web he smiled to himself : “At any rate, they won't come in ™ 5 here looking for hoarded liquor Tue Monte Canto Tourinc Car The Cavaliers were toasting the Pre- vende. A Thompson Custom Built Body Yer'therwatert™ they, exclaimed is an expression of the owner’s individuality— together. 2 But the stupid eavesdroppers thought for his taste governs the selection of its mony of distinctive beauty and mechanical fittings, the arrangement of its interior — perfection and the creation of its lines. Tho: ontemplating the purchase of Cus- . : tom Coach Work will find the Thompson Our skilled artisans in metal, wood and — Portfolio extremely helpful. It will be textiles, co-operate in achieving a har- forwarded upon request E. J. THOMPSON CO. MOTOR CAR BODIES Forbes Field, Pittsburgh, Pa. 1765 Broadway, New York referred to what was in their per cent.” warned the officials of BGtel ¢ Champlain lasses. ihe ‘goveritor. “you'll go to pAlion te- Point-on-Geke Champlain NY The Ancient Mariner tottered to- night wards the village soda fountain. summer renderv of people of culture and re- ” { T _— magnificently placed oth ashes poe “At last!” he sighed, “after my Be ishine ors soot tebe every peters tid one horrible experience in the South Seas, re 0 yal’ hon c; fi 7 ere!” Reerese gesibly my 9 a summer horel, I can find plenty of water here! Robin Hood’s men, as the echoes of their rousing song of “ Brown October " died away in Nottingham Forest, looked at one another and observed ety Eat Coast Hoare Booklet on A certain great Teacher had just “If we don't swing for robbery, we Opens tor seacou of 109 Fo ] turned the water at a wedding feast may have to go to gaol for breaking HOTEL CHAMPLAIN, Bluff Point-on-Lake Champlain into wine. the Federal law!” “If we find it contains more than airchie Austin Coates, comicbooks.com