Life, 1917-11-08 · page 9 of 40
Life — November 8, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces: **"The Girl He Left Behind Him"** (top illustration) depicts a hospital or sickbed scene, likely commenting on romantic relationships during wartime or separation. **"How to Know the Wild Professors"** (left column) is a humorous essay mocking absent-minded academics. It suggests addressing professors in "simple patriotic language" will reveal their eccentricity, recommends gathering them "en masse," pressing them with a steam roller, and nailing them to museum doors. The satire ridicules professors as impractical, detached from reality—"pretty dry" specimens unsuitable for society. **"The Foolish Virgin"** (bottom illustration) shows children on a park bench, likely satirizing naive or overly trusting behavior, though the specific social commentary isn't entirely clear from the visible context. The page reflects early 20th-century American attitudes toward intellectuals and social behavior.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
XUM How to Know the Wild Professors NTER any college in the United States, and when you see two or three professors gathered together, perhaps one of them with a German newspaper under his arm, you may know that they are wild. To make sure, address one of them in simple patriotic language, and he will immediately inform you that all for is free speech. All wild professors should be gath- ered as early in season as possible. Press them out with a steam roller, and nail them up to the door of any bar- racks to dry. Most of them are pretty dry, way, so they will not have to stay there long. They may then be interned in the Museum of Natural History, with practically no loss to the country. any- literature all that glitters has not yet been told. “LIFE: “THE GIRL HE LEFT BEHIND HIM” UTHOR: fused by the publishers. Frienp: Cut it up in a dozen pieces and sell them to the magazines for short stories. My last novel was re- HY the government designated one “beefless ” day a week is not clear, when the packers had already made it impossible for ordinary folks to buy beef more than once a week. THE FOOLISH VIRGIN comicbooks.com