Life — October 11, 1917 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“LIFE: \Chicago’s Most Congested | (Streets in 24 Hours On High Gear | |5868 MILES OVER, A Remarkable Feat Accomplished by a STROMBERG-EQUIPPED Stock Seven-Passenger Chalmers pgers—was started on a Jt ‘with a perfect score. Every peration Every Second of the Time Sympathetic Visitor: voox, voow MAN! HOW DID THEY KNOW You WeRE CKAZY? Lunatic: wurn! 1 staxreD OUT 1 K THE “CHEAPER CUTS OF MEY Look & Helping a Criminal in Distress HE pawnbroker looked up as x customer nervously, “my mailed fist is low fell across his ¢ the most colossal thing of the sort in ter. He saw a pompous-looking indi- eiatence., It dandy thing vidual with a protuberant stomach and louse for-terrorizing refractory chil- an upturned mustache. dren.” gy coun- a perfectl. The newcomer smiled ingratiatingly hing doing,” stated: the pawn- broker curtly. “Your proposition fails to interest me. Some of my customers his shoulder, “how much can you let have fallen pretty low, but I don't fist with only know o “How much can you let me have,” he enquired, casting a furtive glance ove me have for a mail any of them that would stoop one or two dents in it? to terrorize a child.” “T wouldn't give you seven cents.” The customer sneered. ~ Perhips.” replied the pawnbroker contemptuous said he, “you would be’ willing to ad- ly, “I'd rather have a staffed pug dog vance me a few thousand dollars on a to sell. I'd be carrying it on my shelves personal pagan god. This for the next two thousand years. The world has had its fill of mailed fists.” has been my own private property for a mumber of years, It is a very broad- “But, my dear sir,” protested. the minded god, and encourages stich For daily use as a mouth wash after brushing the teeth, and for application to cuts and small wounds, LISTERINE The Safe Antiseptic LISTE RINE PAB ley Pmammacai’ conrant Suave vs Weather comulit °. STROMBERG MOTOR DEVICES CO. New STROMBERE Does it! CARBURETOR things as slavery and poison gas, piracy and oppression, the murder of women and children, lying, materi thedral-wrecking and well-poisoning Such a god is a tremendously conve ient thing to have around the hous “Maybe,” sighed the pawnbroker wearily, “but I have no use for it Civilized people wouldn't touch that lism, ca- sort of god with tongs; and uncivilized people don't want any god at all The customer's upturned must drooped perceptibly. “Couldn't you,” he pleaded, “advance me a little some- thing on a slightly tarnished suit of tically un- he shining armor and ap naged spiked helmet? Look here,” said the pawnbroker helligerently, “I can't waste any more time over such trash. We pawnbrok- ers have reputations to sustain; and | won't demean myself by touching any of the rotten stuff that you're trying to unload on me. Still, I'm only hu- man, and if the police are after you for having such things in your posses- sion, I'm willing to help you. Give me two dollars and I'll hire a boy to put your truck ina burlap bs into the river. Then you ¢ hy the hack door and make a get- away.” With a groan of relief the customer dumped on the counter a two-dollar bill and a heavy suit-case labelled, “ W. HL, Berlin Before another minute had passed he had stealthily crept from the back door, and the pawnbroker and drop it ) sneak out was dusting the suit-case with chloride of lime while waiting for someone to come and take it away comichookseany 4 F a .