Life, 1917-06-28 · page 37 of 39
Life — June 28, 1917 — page 37: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines three distinct elements: a poem, advertisements, and social commentary. **"Dennis" Poem (by Charlotte Becker):** A narrative about a seemingly worthless dreamer from Sussex who enlists despite appearing unfit for military service. The townspeople mock him—he can't follow orders, hold a gun, or act normally. However, during combat, Dennis unexpectedly becomes a hero, saving his battery and earning a military decoration. Upon returning home on furlough, he reverts to his old eccentric self. The satire mocks both the initial prejudgment of character and the bizarre transformation war produces—suggesting that ordinary, seemingly incapable people can rise to extraordinary circumstances, yet may remain fundamentally unchanged. **"A School for Congressmen":** An editorial advocating formal training for newly elected representatives, arguing that congressmen enter office with only local prominence and oratory skills but no actual education in governance, business, or policy—unlike lawyers, mechanics, or soldiers. It proposes a mandatory four-year preliminary school teaching fundamental rules of business and governance. The Budweiser and Club Cocktails advertisements fill remaining space.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Dennis CH a ‘ootin’ an’ a ‘owlin’, S At the good ole “ Ball an’ Crown,” When we ‘card 'ow daffy: Dennis +\d enlisted in the town. Hf won't now ‘e's ‘ad an order” t never ‘old a gun”; I be dropped for actin’ crazy "Fore ver sees a 'Un.” Dennis wos a feckless dreamer, Tried to rhyme a bit, ye ken, Moonin’ ‘round, not up an’ doin’ Like our brawny Sussex: men. cked an’ joked about ‘im, ure ‘e'd bring us shame - grasped what ‘appened, © Corp'ral’s letter came. tricky battle, pe petered ont, 'e said, a‘undred gunners vd the coolest "ead ; rin’ saved ‘is batt'ry ‘Ow is kept up ‘is ‘Ow the Gen'ral pinned ‘is Cross on, Savin’ England should be proud. a ‘owlin’, ood ole “ Ball an’ Crown,” When our Dennis on a furlough ‘ere from the town; nkin’, moonin’ Dennis, even ear us cheer Just woke up to be a ‘ero, Then went back to bein’ queer! Charlotte Becker. Shake your vintage champagne with cracked ice, and you get much the same de- struction of flavor as when you do the same thing to Club Cocktails This balanced and per- fected mixture suffers by dilution. Pour over large lumps of ice or chill the bottle to be GF. HEUBLEIN & BRO. ford = New York London Importers of the Famous BRAND'S A-1 SAUCE Palatable, healthful, nutritious. Intrinsically good. Bottled at the Brewery ANHEUSER-BUSCH ST.LOUIS: A School for Congressmen LMOST everybody in the country who preteads to be of any use has to go thr: A process of education for their job—except our congressmen. A lawyer has to go ¢ law school. A mechanic has to go to a machine shop. A business man learns how to keep books and take account of stock. But a congressman enters upon his job with scarcely any specialized knowledge at all of its necessities, his total equipment being a local prominence, often acquired through the superficial quality of oratory. Before congressmen are permitted to serve, they should enter a preliminary school, say for four years, where they can be taught the fundamental rules of business, government, morals and manners. It takes about two gf years’ active training to make the best soldier. It ought not to take more than four years tefl make a first class congressman. :