Life, 1917-06-28 · page 29 of 39
Life — June 28, 1917 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains a satirical sermon by "Parson Brown" commentary on World War I, using dialect humor to critique American attitudes toward the conflict. **The Cartoon:** The top illustration shows a camping scene with the caption "FIND THE MAN WHO CLAIMED TO KNOW ALL ABOUT COOKING"—a visual joke about someone's culinary incompetence amid outdoor activities. **The Satire:** Parson Brown uses twisted Biblical references to discuss the war. He compares Kaiser Wilhelm II (German leader) to various Biblical villains, saying America must defeat him. He mocks German propaganda about disease and stereotypes about Jewish financial power (referencing Rockefeller-Morgan banking). **The Point:** The dialect humor satirizes both rural American speech and jingoistic war rhetoric. Brown conflates historical and Biblical events absurdly—mixing Pharaohs, submarines, and Wall Street—to mock how Americans justify military action through pseudo-religious and economic arguments, particularly targeting Jewish bankers as war profiteers. This reflects early WWI-era American skepticism about elite motivations for war involvement.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
FIND THE MAN WHO CLAIMED TO KNOW ALL ABOUT COOKING Parson Brown on War iN AN’ SISTERIN: I done read de Bible from kiver to kiver, from lid to lid an’ from end to end, an’ nowhar do I find a mo’ 'propriate tex’ at dis time, when de whole worl’ is scrimmigin’ wid itse’f, dan de place whar Paul Pinted de Pistol at de Philippines an’ said, “Dou art de man.” Kaiser Bill ob Germany is de man, an’ Uncle Sam done got de pistol pinted his way, an’ goin’ to pull de trigger, lessen Bill gits off his perch, like dat woman Jezebel dat sassed Ahab from de roof top. Ahab say to his soldiers, “Go up an’ th’ow down,” an’ dey th'ew her down. Den he say, th'ow her down again,” an’ dey th'ew her down again; an’ he say, “Take her back up an’ th’ow her down seben times,” an’ dey th’owed her down seben times, an’ ast if dat ain’t enough. But Ahab done got his dander up, an’ say, “No! Dat ain't enough. Th'ow her down sebenty times seben.” And afterwards dey done pick up twelve baskets ob de fragments dereob. Dat’s what gwine ter happen ter dat Bill Heah Him Hollerin, t woman 30 up an’ De Good Book done fo'told dis here war, an’ jist how it gwine ter end. Don’t it about de four beasts in de book ob Relations, what spit fire an’ brimstone, meanin’ de Kaiser, de Turks, de Ostriches and de Bullgeraniums, case two ob dem beasteses is birds, an’ Ostriches an’ Turkys is birds, De bigges’ beast is de Kaiser, case he uses Ger- mans to pizen his enemies. De newspapers say as how diseases is all caused by Germans gittin in de food an’ bein’ breathed in de lungs, givin’ folks hydrophobia an’ lumbago an’ consumption. Dis brings us to de time when Abraham led de chillun ob Israel into Egypt, an’ Moses led 'em out again case de folks ob Egypt so bad dey shoot craps all day, and eben make Faro de king. Dey take all de money ’way from de Jews an’ raise de price ob cawn an’ hay till de po’ Jews can’t live. Rockefeller-Morgan Faro, de king, say dey can’t go, but Moses done got de Lawd on his side, an’ he crossed de Red Sea in submarines, so Faro got drowned wid all his host. De mummy ob dat same Faro is still alive in de big museums ob de world, but whar de host is no man can tell. Dat de way de Wall Street gang dat been raisin’ de