Life, 1916-11-02 · page 30 of 46
Life — November 2, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is political satire mocking a vague, evasive political candidate (named Charles). The cartoon shows him as a hyphenated figure—literally split—suggesting divided loyalties or inconsistency. In "Sanctum Talks," the candidate refuses to take clear positions on major issues: Belgium's violation (WWI context), the Eight-Hour Bill, Mexico intervention, and military service. He claims his managers (Roosevelt and Root) forbid him from speaking, yet boasts of endorsements from contradictory groups—"patriots and the Truth Society," suggesting he's appealing to everyone without committing to anything. The satire's point: Charles represents a hollow, poll-testing politician who adopts whatever positions keep voters happy rather than advocating genuine principles. The joke culminates when "Lire" (the interviewer) suggests Charles might secretly be Chinese—implying his identity itself is so mysterious and changeable as to be unknowable. The page likely dates to a 1912 or 1916 presidential election, satirizing weak or opportunistic candidates.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CHARLIE HAD A LITTLE bOG— A HYPHEN DOG, YoU KNow— AND EVERYWHERE TH THAT DOG WAS Sanctum Talks “CX OOD morning, Lire.” “Good morning, Charles. Be- ing a one-hundred-per-cent candidate, I presume you prefer that familiar- ity?” “Oh, quite so.” “Tam glad you called. ask you some questions.” “And I wanted to solicit your suf- frage.” “What?” “T want you to vote for me.” “Well, what do you stand for this year?” “T stand for straight Americanism, for legislation without coercion, for national honor, for order in Mexico, for efficiency in government, for Amer- ica first and America efficient, for I wanted to trained men in the Cabinet, for—” “Yes, yes; that means a lot. So do I, Charles; but let us he specific. Do you think we should have protested when Belgium was violated?” “Tam not allowed to refer to that, Lire. You must see my manager.” “Which one--Colonel Roosevelt or Dr. Hexamer? “T am sorry I am not allowed to say. Will you repeal the Eight-Hour Bill if you are elected?” “That, again, 1 am forbidden to re- veal.” “Well, will you intervene in Mex- ico?” “Tam very sorry, Lire, I cannot let you know that, either.” “At least tell me whether you pri- vately favor universal military service or the federalization of the militia.” “No; I cannot tell that. You em- barrass me. If I commit myself on any of those questions I may alienate some votes. But now I give satisfac- tion to everyone. The Colonel has en- dorsed me, and so has Mr, Root—a combination of progress and reaction that cannot be duplicated. Mr. Bacon and Jeremiah O'Leary both agree I am a suitable candidate—thus joining patriots and the Truth Society. I stand for Protection and Prosperity, for high wages and fair prices, for—” “For bumper crops, Charles, and money in the bank; and you are op- posed to infantile paralysis and Wil- son; is that right?” “That's right, Lire. will vote for me?” “T don’t believe so, Charles You're too mysterious. You're almost un- canny. The testimony of the experts who have seen you near to is so con- flicting that, for all I can find out, you might be a Chinaman, If there were a Chinese vote I doubt if you would deny Mongolian ancestry. Good-day, Charles.” “But, Lire, may not Mr. Bacon of my office call on you?” “Send him round any time. I want to talk about France with him,” “Good-bye, Lire.” “So long, Charles.” And now you “THE FULLNESS OF TIME”