Life, 1916-02-17 · page 36 of 52
Life — February 17, 1916 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief humorous anecdotes typical of early 20th-century satirical magazines: **"Her Prayer"** mocks Scottish dialect while satirizing wartime attitudes—a Glasgow woman claims to pray for the Kaiser (German emperor during WWI) but only to ask God to "soften his heart and dampen his powder" (destroy his ammunition). The joke targets both the woman's contradiction and anti-German sentiment. **"Why They Lived Long"** is a simple joke: twin brothers attributed their longevity to opposite habits (one used tobacco, one didn't), suggesting both explanations are equally valid nonsense. **"Taking Long Chances"** jokes about college students' arrogance—arrested for reckless driving, they refuse a lawyer, planning to "tell the truth" instead. The page also contains period advertisements, including Egyptian Deities cigarettes and Dioxogen disinfectant, typical of the era's commercial culture. The humor relies on dialect humor, class commentary, and anti-establishment attitudes common to 1920s satirical journalism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Her Prayer A. visitor to a Glasgow working woman whose son was at the front was treated to a fluent harangue on the mis: deeds of that “auld blackguard,” the Kaiser, She ventured to suggest that we should love our enemies and pray for them: “Oh, but I pray for him, too.” “What do you say?” “T say, ‘Oh, Lord, deal wi’ yon auld blackguard, saften his heart, and damp his powther.’ "—Argonant. A teaspoonful 0 an ideal appetizl stampa, CW, Al Why They Lived Long Native: There are the Oldboy twins. They are ninety-eight years old. Straxcer: To what do they credit their long lives? Nativi One ‘cause he used terbacker, and one ‘cause he never used it. —Chicago News. bott's Bitters with your G: “Bur your fiancé has such a small salary; how are you going to live?” “Oh, we're going to economize. We're going to do without such a lot of things that Jack needs.” —Buffalo Courier. hea The Perfect ef Mighball, Tey fet EGYPTIAN DEITIES Utmost i jarettes” “ihe ten People of culture, refinement and ee carsb PREFER Deities to any other cigarette. 35¢ Taking Long Chances Two college students were arraigned before the magistrate charged with hurdling the low spots in the road in their motor car. “Have you a lawyer?” asked the magistrate. “We're not going to have any |. answered the elder of the students. “We've decided to tell the truth,” —Argonaut, Wise Mo. “Why,” asks a Missouri paper, “does Missouri stand at the head in raising mules?” “ Becaus ys another paper, “that is the only safe place to stand.” —Christian Register. Faxmer: ll give you five dollars a month and board! Avrticant: Aw, shucks! Who do you think I am, a college graduate? —Philadelphia Bulletin, It destroys the germs before trouble can start When a cut, a scratch or a bruise comes, think first of Dioxogen, the pure peroxide of hydrogen that needs no questionable acetanilid to preserve it. Dioxogen prevents infection. Its use is the best health insurance. Don’t run chances with cheap d/eaching peroxides. To enable you to judge, we will send you a trial bottle, this size, on request. Ask for DIOXOGEN by name—at any drug store THE OAKLAND CHEMICAL CO., 10 Astor Place, New York MAND ME ALWAYS THINKING THEI wa NUZZER WOMAN IN THE WORLD LIkE Mé WIFE.”