Life, 1915-02-18 · page 3 of 44
Life — February 18, 1915 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **primarily advertising and corporate messaging** rather than political satire. The main feature is a full-page advertisement from American Telephone and Telegraph Company promoting the telephone as a unifying national technology. The accompanying illustration shows a map of the United States flanked by two telephone operators, emphasizing nationwide connectivity. The left column contains light humor pieces: a nautical poem about a Navy secretary and a brief joke about a woman asking a girl how to determine if bathwater is hot or cold. Below is a Calox tooth powder advertisement. At the bottom is a job posting seeking "Financiers and Fiscalizers." The telephone ad's rhetoric celebrates technological progress binding the nation together—a common early-20th-century corporate messaging theme—but this is advertising copy rather than satirical commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
iL UP Jee Nautical E'S our merry Secretary, And his sailor-heart is staunch When he navigates his wherry On the wild South Branch, He has put our peaceful Navy In the finest sort of shape On the beneficial gravy Of the mild, pure grape. Aristocracy’s distressing To his Democratic view, So you'll find our Captain messing With the whole blamed crew. He's a kindly innovator, And his gentleness atones For the rudeness of Decatur And of John Paul Jones. And he wouldn’t dream of choosing A belligerent recruit; And we mustn't go a-cruising And we must not shoot; So in amity befitting A community of nuns We are sitting at our knitting On the twelve-inch guns, Oh, we hope they'll never shove him From his Governmental stall, For we love him, yes, we love him Like a Cape Horn squall! And we curry-comb our spaniels And we welcome him aboard, For it’s jolly Joseph Daniels Is our First Sea Lord! Arthur Guiterman, A Puzzle The lady of the house was explaining things to the new maid. “ An’ what's this, missus?” asked the girl, indicating a metal bottle. That is a bottle which will keep things cither hot or cold, whichever you desire,” replied the mistress. “Well, for the land sake!” ejaculated the girl. “How is it gwine to know whether you want things hot or cold?” —Philadelphia Chronicle-Telegraph. Prevents Decay Dentists advise its use a r of Fir McKesson & Robbins. 91-97 Fulton St. : One Policy aN this time, our country looms large on the world horizon as an example of the popular faith in the underlying principles of the republic. We are truly one people in all that the forefathers, in their most exalted moments, meant by that phrase. In making us a homogeneous peo- ple, the railroad, the telegraph and the telephone have been important factors. They have facilitated commu- nication and intervisiting, bringing us closer together, giving us a better understanding and promoting more intimate relations. The telephone has played its part as the situation has required. That it should have been planned for its present usefulness is as wonderful as 263 The Telephone Unites the Nation that the vision of the forefathers should have beheld the nation as it is today. At first, the telephone was the voice of the community. As the population increased and its interests grew more varied, the larger task of the telephone was to connect the communities and keep all the people in touch, regard- less of local conditions or distance. The need that the service should be universal was just as great as that there should be a common language. This need defined the duty of the Bell System. Inspired by this need and repeat- edly aided by new inventions and improvements, the Bell System has become the welder of the nation. It has made the continent a community. AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH COMPANY | AND ASSOCIATED COMPANIES | One System Universal Service ! Financiers Wanted ANTED—Financiers and Fiscalizers. Everywhere, New kind. Special work. Owing to the escape and retirement of financiers and fiscalizers who have heretofore been functioning and who have financed and fiscalized our States and municipalities heavily into debt, there is urgent need of able men who will finance and fiscalize us all out of debt. Having finished the work of issuing bonds to the utmost limit of good sense, civic decency and economic righteousness, the time has now come to retire the said bonds rapidly and permanently and live henceforth upon a pay-as- you-go basis. Unlimited fame and liberal emoluments for right parties. In writing, state age and previous condition of fiscal servitude. Address P. B. Publico, Ennyburg, State of Despair, U. S. A.