Life, 1915-02-04 · page 29 of 44
Life — February 4, 1915 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces from *Life* magazine: **Main Cartoon** ("Hon Adm say snorts and disappear off"): A dialogue mocking William Jennings Bryan, the three-time presidential candidate and pacifist. The military Secretary of War ridicules Bryan's peace advocacy, imagining scenarios where his opposition to military preparedness would fail against real threats (like Germany/Kaiser Wilhelm II, represented by the German general). The joke: Bryan's lectures on avoiding war are useless in actual conflict. References include Belgium's invasion by Germany and the Red Cross. **"A Psalm of High Living"**: Satirizes wealthy hostesses obsessed with fashionable presentation over substance—disguising ordinary food (beef as exotic dishes, fish as plums) to impress dinner guests. The joke targets the shallow materialism and performative nature of high society entertaining, where style trumps nutrition or honesty. **"Precaution"**: A brief joke about a woman checking her marriage date in a diary to plan a "safe and sane" anniversary, implying marital discord.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Hon Adm say snorts and disappear off” “*To obtain sifficient cartridges, guns, men, uniforms, brass bands, patriotism to repel the N. Y. Police Force on annual parade. If I should increase that size Hon. Wm Jenny Bryan would hear about it and tell Chataqua I was a Military Tyrant.’ “*Sipposing Germany get tired of cating Europe and jump at America with expression peculiar to a mad dog with a rabbi—what then? Could Hon. Wm Jenny Bryan meet them at dock and explain that war are barbarism?’ “*He might,’ snuggest Hon. Sec of War, ‘if it did not interfere with his lecture schedule.’ “Hon Wood make Krupp noise with his heel and prepare to go off. Hon. Sec of War point to Hague picture with penhandle and say for sweetly smiling, “©The Americans are a peace-loving people’ “*So are the Belgiums,’ erupt Hon. Wood and march away with expression peculiar to lover intending to join Red Cross nurses.” Hoping you are the same Yours truly Hasuimura Toco. (Per Wallace Irwin.) 201 A Psalm of High Living (What the Spirit of the Household* Page Said to the Hostess.) TE you what! This modern living Gives the cook no time to dream; In the art of party-giving Eats are seldom what they seem. Style’s the thing! Who cares a button For the good old-fashioned chow? “This is beef" (or veal, or mutton) Is not writ on menus now. Not enjoyment‘or digestion Is the aim of meals for us, But to cook so guests shall question, “What is this I'm cating thus?” You must stop in all your flurry, On the day the Bridge Club comes, To make sherbet look like curry, Fish croquettes resemble plums. Time is short, and you are flustered“? (So’s Friend Cook, the waitress, too), Still, you've got to tint that custard Cubist red, the tarts sky blue. Cook-books tell us she who wishes Learns the trick with fatal ease, And her friends impart her dishes From their Ten Best Recipes. Dishes that some guest unwary (There is none to give a hint!) A dyspeptic soul, and scary, Tasting, seeks a soda-mint. Let us still be up annexing Any old receipt that’s new, But (to solve a problem vexing) Let’s get new digestions, too! Sarah Redington. Precaution ‘ODD. You don’t mean to say you keep a diary? Tovp: Not quite so low as that. I'm just looking up to see the day I was married. This year I propose to pass a safe and sane wedding anni- versary.