Life, 1915-01-28 · page 17 of 40
Life — January 28, 1915 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical piece contrasts amateur and professional golfers through humorous definitions. The top cartoon shows a taxi driver pointing skyward at an airplane labeled "ANNA DOMITRIX 1950"—likely referencing a contemporary figure or scandal, though the specific reference is unclear today. The main text offers tongue-in-cheek definitions of professional golfers as men who juggle their marriages while flirting with other women's wives, who lie about their scores, and who rationalize their rule-breaking. The amateur, by contrast, is optimistic but financially exploited—tipping caddies and losing balls. The satire mocks golf culture's moral flexibility and the pretense surrounding amateur status. The bottom illustration labeled "A Prime Minister" (unclear connection) shows figures in conversation. Overall, the piece uses golf as a vehicle to critique masculine hypocrisy, infidelity, and financial dishonesty among upper-class leisure pursuits.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“taxi!” Amateur and Professional 'HE United States Golf Association has been visibly meditating on the question, What is an amateur golfer? and the rules defining this anomalous creature have Leen recast in hopes that the status, standing, reputation and other impedimenta common to all regulated human beings, may be definitely determined, so far as this par- ticular species is concerned. Perhaps the best way to find out what an amateur golfer is is to find out what a professional golfer is. A professional golfer is a man who can keep up his professional standing with his wife while making a prac- tice of playing golf with the wives of other men. Also, one who knows when it is safe for him to go to church without letting this fact interfere with his game. He is a man who has learned all the rules of golf by heart, and then forgotten them; who never plays into the man ahead unless he knows that man is a duffer; who, when playing a record round alone, can put up the score afterwards as if he thought others believed him; who knows how to ground his ball in a hazard without getting caught and who, generally speaking, can lie as though he thought that what he said he really believed other people thought was true. An amateur golfer is a man who thinks he will play like a professional next year, while a professional golfer is afraid that next year he may play like an amateur. A professional golfer is a man who doesn’t have to tip his caddy to keep him from losing his ball. An amateur golfer not only tips his caddy, but loses his ball also. The real difference between an amateur and a_pro- fessional golfer is that the professional takes moncy where he can get it, while the amateur takes it only from his friends. T.L.M. A PRIME MINISTER