Life, 1914-12-10 · page 15 of 40
Life — December 10, 1914 — page 15: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This satirical story mocks the luxurious conditions afforded wealthy or prominent criminals in jail. An "eminent criminal" is treated like a hotel guest by an obsequious staff—the jailer addresses him as "sir" and accommodates requests for better rooms, private golf links, billiard rooms, valets, and flowers. The joke's twist: the criminal is devastated when the Governor *pardons* him, forcing him to leave these cushy accommodations. He must return to ordinary society while others "who have committed greater crimes" take his place in prison's comparative comfort. The satire targets class inequality in the justice system—suggesting that wealth and status allow privileged criminals to serve sentences more pleasantly than free citizens live, and that truly serious criminals (implicitly wealthy/powerful) occupy the system's best accommodations. It's a biting commentary on corruption and unequal justice.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
errors. Lirg has no doubt that its readers will understand the circum- stances and make allowances. Joseph Willitt, Anniston, Ala. Walter L. Head, Bangor, Me. Charles D. Chapman, New York City Percy B. Lovell, Moorestown, N. Y. Gertrude H. " Curk, Cambridge, Mass. : 2.00 F. L. Gott, Nampa, idabo. 1.00 Frank Winter, Benson, Ariz. 2.00 1.00 $10.00 20.00 25.00 1.00 $0.00 8.00 10.00 Mrs. Stoiber Miss Edna W. mit, N. J. . Alexander P. Md. Refugee Subscriber Sargent Newbury, Denver, Colo. Mrs. B. G. Heidel, Baltimore, M J. S. Carpenter, Des Moines, Towa. From One Who Has Felt the Hor- Mrs. Macymber, Donerail, Ky. Mrs. L. V. Harkness, Donerail, Ky. Miss Margaret Dallett, Westown, Pa. Mrs, Hooper Grafilin, Filston Manor, Mats ee Robert Beardsley, Phoenix, Ar L. J. Wellman, Chicago, I Mrs. Franklin’ Ballou, Phila, Pa.. A. P. Rosenblatt, Hawesville, Ky.. Charlotte M. McFadden, Worcester, Mrs. Chas. W. Chapin, New York ity... . Mrs.” Wood Wiltse, Phila. Pa. ue and Mrs. W. B. Haines, Io: Washingt Julius §. “Triest, New’ York’ City. L. G, Vaura, Tuolomne, Cal. Dr. Gawan Ferguson, Great Fails, Moutices.6 es Edwin D. Peterson, Pasadena, Cal Miss G. B, Whittemore, Naugatuck, jorthwest’ Arm, Halifax ..... ag Mrs. Van Renselaer Thayer, Mrs. J. A. Swan, Newport. Alexander S. Porter, Boston, 3 Mrs. George J. Fi. The follo clothing : ing have sent boxes of Miss Grace Cortis, Florence, Italy; Carl Carlsmeth, Hilo, Hawaii; Mrs. J. A. ‘Swan, Newport; Alice E. Wilcox, Tthaca, N.Y. Dr. Belle Macdonald, New York City; Mrs. Postley, New York’ City; Mr, and’ Mrs. Oswald’ Yorke, New York City: Miss Martha Codman, Newport, Ly iam S. Rath- bone, New York City; Mrs. E. Groening. New’ York City; Mrs.’ Arthur King Wood, Ardsley-on Hudsons Mrs. John Van Rense- ‘ashington, D. C.; Mrs. George C. a ison, 3 iss Gertrude S. : ty; Mrs. Chester W. Chapin, New York ity. Mrs.” Chester W. Chapin, New York City, has offered to take and care for fifteen children, Mrs. W. B. Jackson, Silver Springs, Md., offers to come to Dinard and with Mr. Jackson fit up a villa for a Belgian hospital. THE SPIRIT OF 1950 In 1950 “wit you ring, sir?” The liveried attendant bowed himself out of the room in the county jail into which he had just ushered the eminent criminal. That gentleman looked about him critically and then rang the bell. “Summon the jailer.” “Yes, sir.” The jailer, all smiles, entered. The eminent criminal regarded him fastid ously. “What can I do for you, sir?" “As I am going to remain here for ten years, it may be well to know your rules,” “They are for the comfort of our guests—as required by law. “Then why cannot I have a better room? That fireplace is rather small.” “The best rooms are taken, sir. So many gentlemen have committed crimes just for the privilege of being here, You should have been convicted sooner, sir.” “Um! You have a private golf links?” “ Certainly.” “And billiard and pool rooms?” “As a matter of course.” “How about a valet?” “I'll have one detailed for you at once, “Flowers every morning?” “From our private conservatory.” “ Breakfast in bed?” “ As you like. Suddenly they were interrupted. A messenger entered bearing an envelope ona tray. The jailer opened it hastily. He turned to the eminent criminal. “T have bad news for you.” The eminent criminal clutched the five-hundred-dollar davenport. Bad news?” “Yes, sir. The Governor has par- doned you. You'll have to vacate. He finds there are others who have com- mitted greater crimes than you who are entitled to the privileges of the jail.” I— Then there is no hope for me. I must go back into society and spend my time listening to after-breakfast wireless speeches, and going to polit- ical afternoon receptions with my wife.” “Yes, sir.” The eminent criminal sighed as he prepared to depart. “T knew the lawyer was no good,” he said, “ But you wait. I'm going to devote the rest of my life t making our jails so uncomfortable that no gen- tleman will live in one.” comicbooks.com