Life — December 10, 1914 — page 16: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

LABEE™ Letters of a Japanese School-boy A Spiritualistic Peek-a-Boo into the To Editor “ Life Weekly” who realize how Prophets is more easier to find than Profits in journalism business, ON. DEAR SIR:— Last midnight while me & Cousin Nogi was in freshair enjoying talk & cigarette for development of brain, which should we see but following sign-language nailed on a hallway: Mrs. Kurto NaGasakt Medium Spiritualist from Japan. 2se for any Fortune However Expensive. We observe this with startle-eye ex- pression peculiar to superstitious cats. Nogi say he rather see moving pictures than ghosts, yet he loand me price 23¢ for my foolishness and eloped proudly away, leaving me to amount up stair- step to where Mrs. Kurio sat amidst maps of Spiritland telephoning to Hon, Wm T. Stead. “O Rev, Mrs Madam,” I say her after she poured another trance out of bottle and drink it, “Life Newspaper of N. Y. are entirely anxious for to know this information: What will world be doing 36 years ahead from date of now? Can you tell this for price 25¢?” “Quite obligingly,” she outcast with happy smiling. “I am the cheapest prophet since Noah. The week after the Titanic collusion I prophesied that calastrophy without leaving out anything that was published in newspapers.” I stand gast for this cyclogical phe- nomenal, She turned down gas with fiancee expression and I could dis- tinctually hear a ghost scratching his back under stove, “If convenient, drop sc price in musical box,” she narrate trancely. Al- ready she was folding her feet and beginning to purr. “Are that included in 25¢ already payed for spiritual ticket?” I otter peevly. “Not is,” she holla subconscienti- ously. “It must be extra.” “Then I prefer my ghost served without music,” I dib like Hetty Green. “O not can do!” she vampire, peep- ing out from her trance. “I am tak- ing trouble to ring up very particular ghost—Hon. Chas Darwin will arrive, but he must hear ‘Gaby Glide’ so he will think of monkeys and not feel bashful.” I drop nickel to slot. Hon. Gaby “Then I prefer my ghost served without music” Future Glide begin doing so. Considerable Harry Thaw felt in atmospheric air. More trances. Of suddenly— “If we took out Shylock and put in Morrus Perlmutter,” say vocal voice, “maybe we could conduce Geo. M. Cohen to look at it... .” “Get off the wire, Mr. Shakespeare,” corrode medium lady, “I are talking with Hon, Darwin,” Professor hashly, “What you ring me up for? Who got me up out of my nice, warm cloud this time of night?” “Excuse, Prof Darwin,” obligate Hon. Mrs, “Japanese School-boy are here from Life Newspaper wishing know what will evolute to world in voice heard speaking 5 “Hum!” This he say it with spir- itual cough. “ Have not world evoluted itself nearly crazy already without worrying about future? Howeverly, I shall look see. ! 1950! Howdee do, future % century! I see you have done a great deal and accomplished almost nothing, just like I expected. Let me see the map of Europe—aha! England? She are now a Republic and John W. Pankhurst, new Socialist president, are still snatching his brains to find a way to free Ireland without making her mad.” Hon. Darwin wipe his spiritual bald- ness with a picce of fog. “What information do you observe about those United American States?” I ask to know with eyebrows contain- ing superstition, “Since America’s defeat by Japan—" he commence it. “O Banzai!!” I blow off. “Say it some more and I shall pay another Since America’s defeat by Japan,” he diagnose, “a standee army of 11.- 111,111 complete soldiers have been stood up under command of Maj. Gen. Wm Jenny Bryan, Jr., grandson of ex- comicbooks.com