Life, 1914-12-10 · page 12 of 40
Life — December 10, 1914 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains "The Kaiser Prays," a satirical poem attributed to H.R.B., attacking German Kaiser Wilhelm II during World War I. The prayer mockingly portrays the Kaiser thanking God for military power—guns, engines, submarines, and aircraft—while praying for more destructive weapons and conquest of enemies including England, France, Japan, and Russia. The accompanying illustration shows two figures beneath a large tree, likely representing innocent civilians dwarfed by the scale of militarism. The satire works by inverting religious devotion into worship of war machinery and imperial ambition. This American publication uses the prayer format to expose what it presents as the Kaiser's actual values: military domination disguised as divine will.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Kaiser Prays THANK Thee, God, for naming me Vice-Regent of the realm of might. Thou art the King of War. I pray Thy wrath on those who block the way Of my God-given right. My gun is worthy Thy great name, My engines leave a trail of dead, Beneath the waves like serpents stray My submarines—O grant that they May consternation spread, My winged craft in heaven’s expanse Drip death and ruin where they glide. Tho’ temples crumple into mould, New culture shall replace the old, O Lord, with them abide. Grant me more secrets how to kill, Some stifling gas—some deadlier bomb, For I would slay at greater pace— Hurl countless legions, by Thy grace, To everlasting doom. Give me the art of training men To iron hearts, from pity freed; O bless my spies in every land, Teach them those methods underhand Which quick to victory lead. I give Thee praise for Thy great help In crushing Belgium's valiant force, For thousands dead, and millions more Who, driven from their native shore, No more obstruct my course. Grant, Lord, that England, too, may fall Beneath my justly risen wrath; That France, despoiled of men and lands, May pour her treasures in my hands And tread a humbler path, The Japanese have dared contest My right divine on Asia’s shore; Annihilate them if Thou wilt, Chastise Italians for their guilt; These blessings I implore, Slay Thou the Russian hosts for me, From Kénigsberg to Budapest Let death o’ertake the Slavic horde, And tell me when my righteous sword Should pierce Columbia’s breast? “1 SIMPLY MUST HAVE IT, ADAM, I HAVEN'T A THING TO WEAR!" Let every race make room for me, Let every nation hear my call; The flag of culture I've unfurled, Grant Germany may rule the world . And I be monarch over all, Amen, H.R, B. Credit REDIT is an estimate of your capacity to worry about paying your bills which is held about you by a lot of total strangers, Credit is also a belief held of your ability to pay for something long after yoy have ceased to derive any benefit from it. Credit is likewise a guage of your willingness to deceive yourself into the belief that you can afford to buy something because you cannot pay cash for it. If everybody paid cash, there would be no bond issues, no huge clerical forces, no’ national debts, no armies or military systems, no schools such as exist to-day, no war, no degenerate fashions—nothing but plain, everyday living. Credit enables everybody to live a fic- titious existence. Nothing exceeds like credit.