Life, 1914-09-10 · page 14 of 48
Life — September 10, 1914 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two satirical pieces about World War I-era noise and disturbance. **Top dialogue ("A New Noise in the World"):** Neptune and Mars debate modern naval warfare. Mars complains about submarines, battleships, and cruisers creating constant noise. Neptune counters that this "trade hum" from the American Merchant Marine is worse than any sea battle. The satire mocks how industrial/commercial warfare noise now rivals actual combat—a commentary on WWI's unprecedented scale and the mobilization of civilian merchant vessels. **Bottom cartoon ("Help!"):** Shows a couple in a sinking boat. The caption presents dark humor about survival instincts during maritime disasters, likely referencing U-boat attacks on merchant and passenger ships, a major WWI concern. **Right section ("If at First"):** Reports a medical ethics experiment injecting rattlesnake venom into patients, justifying it as experimental progress—satirizing the "try, try again" mentality without ethical constraints.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
430 A New Noise in the World EPTUNE: turbance? Mars: I am. Nerrune: You woke me out of a sound sleep. It's bad enough to be troubled with submarines, but to have a lot of battleships and cruisers chasing and firing hot shot into each other-— Mars (calmly): My friend, you are not so badly off. Nertune: But why should I be disturbed? In this era of noise surely I should be secure. Mars: If you were a landlubber you'd get used to the roar of continuous battle. A few shells on the water now and then should not get on your nerves, Neptune: But I’m not favorably inclined toward mod- ern improvements, as they say. Storms and hurricanes are all the diet I care for, I never know what's going to happén. Hello! What's this coming? Bless me, that must be a new flag! It certainly looks strange to me. Mars: You refer to that flect of vessels approaching? Neptune: Yes. (Suddenly putting his hands to his cars.) My! A Sea battle is nothing. What is it, pray? Mars: Yes—and you'll have to get used to it because it has come to stay. It's what is known as a trade hum. Beats any other noise known. Nertune (preparing to sink to the bottom to muffle the new hum): Who are they? Mars (drawing his sword and turning once more toward Europe): Well, I have more to do. That's the new American Merchant Marine. Look here; who's creating all this dis- “ WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF THE BOAT WERE TO SINK, MARY?” “1 CAN'T SWIM, SO I'D JUST HAVE TO THROW MY ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK AND HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE.” “MARY, I DO BELIEVE THE BOAT IS SINKING.” What a noise they are making in the world! “LL P’E “THEY SAY IT TAKES MORE THAN A MILLION YEARS FOR THE LIGHT FROM THAT STAR TO REACH THE EARTH” “OH, PIFFLE! WHY, IT HASN'T BEEN DARK MORE’N HALF AN HOUR” “Tf at First— 'ARIETY is the spice of medical ethics as well as life. For example, Dr. N. S. Yawger, at the Oak- bourne Epileptic Colony, Philadelphia, decided, as an ex- periment, to inject rattlesnake poison venom into his patients, “Since we were without personal knowledge of the subject,” says the doctor, “there seemed sufficient reason for giving the venom a trial.” That is one way to get results, upon the principle that if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. In this instance the results were extremely disastrous to the patients, But that is always incidental, so long as “progress” is being made and the “ultimate” good being conserved. F anybody in this country is anxious to mobilize, we hope it will be the housewives,