Life, 1914-01-08 · page 16 of 44
Life — January 8, 1914 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple humorous pieces satirizing American politics and society: **The main cartoon** shows a figure in a bathtub, likely mocking contemporary political figures through exaggerated caricature. **"The New Version"** is an alphabetical joke listing government officials (Bryan, Taft, Roosevelt, Wilson, etc.) each performing actions beginning with their initials regarding "an Administration"—satirizing how different politicians handled (or bungled) governance. **The "Cousin Nogi" dialogue** parodies immigrant stereotypes and anarchist hysteria of the era, with broken English mocking both anarchists stealing French art and the narrator's absurd revenge scheme against banker J.P. Morgan. **Other jokes** include a conductor's wisecracks about train routes and a Harvard/Yale college rivalry quip. The overall tone reflects Life's style: political mockery of the Wilson administration, immigrant caricatures (standard for the period), and satirical commentary on wealth inequality and art theft—contemporary concerns wrapped in period humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“When he arrive to oiled portrait marked La Josherina he notice how she smile” Political Futurists,” I snuggest. “ Are stealing portraits out of France nice way of rebuking Napoleon?” “It are considered very fashion- able Anarchy,” relapse my Cousin Nogi. “Ah then!” I derange. “I can now think up entirely neat way to get back money I never had. I shall become Patriot! With immediate quickness I shall go to Metropolitan Museum, N. Y., and remove out Portrait of a Dutchman by J. W. Rembrandt. This I shall tuck under kimono. Nextly I shall hire moving van and clope to N. Y. Clearing House where I shall slyly snatch out all iron safes con- taining mortgages on Manhattan Island and Panama Canal. With gladdy cry, ‘For God, for Country, for Myself!’ I shall drive to some other pawn- brokerage and sell it.” “Why you commit those disgustly crimes?” narrate Nogi for frights. “To get revenge on Pierpont Mor- gan for what he stole from America,” I negotiate while Cousin Nogi make Supreme Court eyes at me as if he could only consider such an act merely scandalism and entirely without feet. Hoping you are the same, Yours truly, HasuiMvura Toco. (Per Wallace Irwin.) ASSENGER: Do I have to change cars in Chicago? Excessivery Potite Conpuctor: Not necessarily, madam. You can go back to New York if you want to. The New Version WAS an Administration, Bryan Bolstered it, Clark Cheered it, Daniels Dosed it, Edmonds Endured it, Fairbanks Frowned at it, Garrison Guarded it, Huerta Hated it, Innes Illuminated it, James Joked it, Kern Kow-towed to it, Lane Labored with it, Marshall Manocuvred it, Newlands Nevadaed it, 4 Owens Orated over it, Penrose Pushed it, Quezon Qualified for it, Roosevelt Rejected it, Sayre Succumbed to it, Taft Touched it, Underwood Undertook to head it, Vardaman Ventured into it, Wilson Watched over it, X, Y and Z did the same. Harvey Peake. BAKER: How do you know he is a Harvard man? Barker: I heard him talking about Yale. JUST AT PRESENT A SEAT ON THE STOCK EXCHANGE comicbooks.com