Life, 1914-01-08 · page 17 of 44
Life — January 8, 1914 — page 17: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is an allegorical story mocking the failure of New Year's resolutions. "The Good Resolution"—personified as a character—attempts to maintain self-discipline on January 1st by rejecting temptations: cigars, romantic encounters, alcohol, and late nights. Each vice is anthropomorphized and tries to seduce him with flattery. The joke's irony: by January 6th, he's collapsed in bed, defeated. The vices reveal they "sand-bagged" him—conspired against him. His weakly humorous response ("I am twenty-four hours overdue already") suggests he's died, having failed his resolution almost immediately. The cartoon illustrates the common human experience of breaking New Year's promises within days. The stork measuring "twenty paces" (duel distance) suggests these vices are his adversaries in a battle he loses. The bottom cartoon about a "family skeleton" reinforces the satirical theme: people hide shameful secrets, much like broken resolutions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE DISTANCE AGREED UPON BEING TWENTY PACES, er eo MR. STORK 1S CHOSEN TO MEASURE IT Life The sun was peeping T was dawn. over the eastern hills. The Good Resolution jumped out of bed and looked at himself in the glass. “IT am certainly feeling fit,” he said. Then he got out the dumb-bells and began to exercise, and after a bath and rub-down he walked out briskly. He had not gone far before he was met by a cigar. “Good morning,” said the cigar. “I never saw you looking better. May I join you?” “No, thank you,” said thg Good Resolution, “I am _ traveling my own resources to-day.” He walked on a little farther and was met by a kiss. “Ah! Good morning, friend,” said the kiss. “You look lonesome.” “Not a bit,” said the Good Resolu- tion. I beg to inform you that I have Tesources of my own.” “But, my dear boy,” said the kiss, “just one—” “No, thank you," said the Good Resolution, and passed on. He had not gone very far before he was met by a bottle of whiskey. “By Jove!” said the bottle of whiskey, “isn’t it great that we should meet here? I have the greatest story to tell you. You look to me as if you needed something to keep your spirits up anyway.” “That's where you are mistaken,” said the Good Resolution. “I am trav- cling, I beg to inform you, on my own resources.” The Good Resolution passed rapidly on, but he had not gone much further before he was accosted by a group of late hours. They began to dance around him. “My dear friend,” said the late hours, “isn’t it great that we should meet you just here? So unusual, too, when the sun is shining. But, then, we must prepare for the future.” 6l One of them attempted to take him by the arm. The Good Resolution brushed him off haughtily. “IT want you late hours to under- stand,” he said, “that I am traveling on my own resources. Gentlemen, I bid you good morning. eee ee It was dark. The Good Resolution attempted to sit up, and leaned feebly upon his elbow, but the effort was too much for him, “ What's the matter?" he said weakly, “Isn't there anyone here to tell me before I go out?” The bottle of whiskey leaned over him: “My friend,” said the bottle of whiskey, “ you did not treat us right. You were too haughty and supercilious in your bearing. One by one you have turned us down, That is why we combjned against you and sand-bagged you.” “Oh, then I am dying?” The Good Resolution managed to turn over where he could look at the calendar on the opposite wall. “ What is the date?” he said. “The sixth of January.” The Good Resolution smiled feebly as the bottle of whiskey, the cigar, the kiss and the late hours gathered around his bed. “Boys,” he said, “let me go. I am twenty-four hours overdue already.” On the Left: wHat DO You MEAN BY TAKING A FLAT THAT HASN'T A CLOSET BIG ENOUGH FOR THE FAMILY SKELETON? comicbooks.com