Life, 1913-12-25 · page 29 of 41
Life — December 25, 1913 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Life magazine page satirizes American political patronage and office-seeking, particularly targeting the "bold Sailor who guides the wheel at Washington"—likely referring to the sitting President or a prominent political figure who controls federal appointments. The text mocks a poem about hope and harbor, reinterpreting the poet's plea for guidance as a veiled request for a government job. The satire hinges on "ports"—the poem uses this metaphorically, but the article suggests the writer is actually referencing the "one hundred thousand ports that open to applicants" through political favor, implying a vast spoils system of federal positions distributed as patronage rewards. The accompanying illustration ("How the Cap'n Lost His Leg") appears to depict maritime disaster, possibly as a visual metaphor for the chaos or moral injury caused by this patronage system. The "Rules for Reading" mock *The Daily Yell*, suggesting a sensationalist publication whose editorial bias can be discovered by studying its advertisements—implying corrupt financial relationships between media outlets and political interests.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
1161 Rules for Reading “The Daily Yell” L UMIGATE it with a mixture of one part humor and two parts common sense. 2, Read first the short items in fine type; if you have time, glance at the big-type headings, but omit what is be- low them. 3. Note carefully the men whom The Yell runs down, that you may vote for them if you ever get a chance. 4. Observe also what men The Yell praises. Try to discover what The Yell they have been doing. s. If you wish to improve your English, read a Yell editorial once a day. It is as important to know what to avoid as what to imitate. 6. If you wish to improve your powers of observation and reasoning, note the large advertisements carried by The Yell, and trace the connection between them and the sentiment ex- pressed by the editorial page. 7. For an exercise in mental microscopy, try to find something worth while in The Yell’s columns. 8. Having thus utilized your copy to the full extent, carefully burn it in the nearest rubbish incinerator. Amos R. Wells. Such a Modern Applicant ! T° the poct who writes in the Courier-Journal about “ Hope De- ferred”: This seems a portless sea, Which I sail slowly on; His spirits are low. He enquires: Is there no port flung wide, To harbor my frail bark He doubts if there is, but says: I hope that Sailor bold Will guide the wheel for me, And sheen the restless sea with gold, Until mine eyes shall see Some open port. Perhaps he means the roulette wheel, but the reader may suspect that he has been reading the Office-Seekers’ Blue Book and has in mind the one hundred thousand ports that open to applicants favored by the bold Sailor who guides the wheel at Washington. HOW THE CAP'N LOST HIS LEG A job for this gentleman! comicbooks.com