Life, 1913-12-18 · page 33 of 40
Life — December 18, 1913 — page 33: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of satire: **The Short Story "Scandal in High Life"**: A humorous tale by L.R. Corbett mocking the imminent "millennium" (year 1913). A mystery writer, desperate for criminal material after this prophesied peaceful era arrives, considers attacking his wife to generate scandal. The joke satirizes both sensationalist mystery fiction and the period's millennial anxiety—the absurd notion that 1913 would usher in utopian peace. **The Vogue Advertisement**: This is ironic advertising disguised as editorial advice. Vogue claims its September 1912 fashions remain current a year later, positioning the magazine as a fashion oracle predicting trends. The actual point: buy Vogue to stay ahead of fashion changes, though the ad humorously admits styles featured months ago still look modern. **"A Friendly Suggestion"**: Mildly satirizes the Pankhurst suffragettes, suggesting they redirect their militant energy toward joining the Housewives' League instead—contemporary anti-feminist mockery. The page reflects 1912's obsession with predicting the future and anxiety about rapid social/fashion change.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
© millen- Beant in body had all build- rime and rganized indsome, walked ear, firm you that be post- ninal on reform.” over his e asked. hundred caused countless I have namite; red. and brought nineteen Brave; dollars, goods. to be , reach- ere did y most ght be- yu slept t cried. 1 were sleeping on. But don’t waste time, it is five minutes to the millennium.” A tall, fair woman entered excitedly. “Oh, darling, you are here!” she exclaimed. “Do you know this criminal?” in- quired the sergeant. “Criminal? He is my husband, the most popular author of modern mys- tery stories, and has been taking a—a rest curc. He got out a few minutes ago when I was not watching.” The sergeant groaned and fell across his desk. “Why did you raise my hopes like that?” he asked piteously. “ You are not a real criminal. Nothing can stop the millennium now.’ The author yanked himself out of his loving wife's grasp. “You fool!” he cried, “ now we shall starve! Where am I going to find material after the millennium?” The sergeant jumped up hopefully. “If you could manage to hit her, now,” he suggested, “I could get Carnegie and tell him that the world is still unregenerate.” The author turned pale; he loved his wife, but something must be done. Be- fore he could touch her, however, she got to him with a one-arm jab that laid him bleeding but ecstatic upon the floor. “Saved!” he murmured, as he fainted. “The world, once lost by a woman, is saved by one.” L. R Corbett. Answer to Last Week's Rebus Scandal in high li blackmailing servants.” : is welcomed by Florida Water S “THE UNIVERSAL PERFUME” A welcome and appropriate offering at all seasons, is especially fitting as A CHRISTMAS GIFT | SS NE = Everyone who has ever used it finds it “*so delightfully refreshing” For the Dressing-table, or Handkerchief g5 Gentlemen use it after shaving REFUSE SUBSTITUTES Sample size mailed for six cents in stamps. Ask for our booklet, “Health and Beauty.” Lanman & Kemp,‘ ay 135 Water Street, NEW YORKHF aot i EOE ee Would you think this style is a year old? UT it is—Vogue the current numbers B printed it Septem- of Vogue are gowns ber 25th, 1912—a i just as far in advance year and nearly three of the fashions of this months ago. Yet so ac- moment as the gown here curately does Vogue bring was in advance of the you the advance fashions, fashions of 1912._ For so well do the models 7 instance, read the Christ- shown in Vogue hold mas Vogue, now on sale. their style, that you might —Y i Buy your hats and perfectly well wear this i gowns always on the gown on Fifth Avenue flood, not the ebb of to-day! the ‘mode. A gown From the great. style- made in a coming fash- originators in Paris ion will hold its style Vogue brings you the 4 indefinitely; but a gown advance fashions as fast \A made in a waning fash- as they are produced. ion will be hopelessly out Therefore Vogue tells of style long before it is you not merely what the \ worn out. To read fashions are, but what 4 Vogue regularly is to an- they are going to be! ticipate the fashions, 5 cents a copy $4.00 a year 143 Fourth cenuc, New York ice a month 24 numbers Condé Nast, Publisher A Friendly Suggestion E. suggest to Mrs. Pankhurst and all of her friends who yearn to do something for Woman in particular and the human race in general, that they become militant members of the Housewives’ League. As nearly as we can make out, the House- wives’ League spends no time evolving problems, but jumps right in and tackles prob- lems which already exist. Valiantly taking a big stick to the price of eggs is a kind of militancy with which we have no difficulty in sympathizing. The problem of the price of eggs we can’t get away from. It sits down with us at the breakfast table every day and its “ good morning” is none too cheery. The problem of the vote, however, will always savor of the academic. It never appears among the items in those numerous missives which arrive the first of the month. Come, ladies, what do you say? Isn't this suggestion worth considering?