Life, 1913-11-06 · page 23 of 56
Life — November 6, 1913 — page 23: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains satirical pieces mocking early 1900s American anxieties and social practices. **"Feetball" Letter** (left column): A humorous complaint, likely written in a faux-immigrant dialect, defends American football as essential education. The writer argues football teaches brutality necessary for success in business ("Wall Street," "Life Insurance"). When a cousin suggests Japan succeeded without football, the writer counters that Japan had "hara-kiri" (ritual suicide) to instill toughness—a dark joke equating brutal sports with martial discipline. **"Life's Worry Club"** (right): Satire on the era's anxiety epidemic. The club offers organized worry classes, treating neurotic concern as a skill to be systematized and improved. Listed worries range from trivial (wife's hair loss) to absurd (whether a play is indecent), mocking both middle-class neurosis and the era's moral panic about theater. **Small cartoon** (bottom right): A child's innocent misunderstanding—mistaking being "helped to turkey" (served food) for literal physical assistance, interrupting his dream. The page satirizes American attitudes toward education, masculinity, and urban anxiety.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“ Feetball are merely a play-game for boys” courage much happy education which goes hy travel—elopements, drummers, Wm Jenny Bryan and Mistic Shriners’ Conventions. Also, if you stop feetball you must stop college and young men of America must go to some other saloon for learn how to drink beer and sing-song. This would be cheaper for Hon. Parent, but young man never look so polished off who learn his education that way. Moreoverly, I am not sure America could get along without learn- ing feetballing in carly date of youth, How otherwisely could they become sifficiently trained in brutality to take up Success for profession of grown-up life? How could they perform push & slugg of Wall Street, choke & throw- down of Life Insurance, slam-bang and I ask to know! Without feetballing never learn to do I say it! America could so.” “Japan got pretty considerable brave without learning that form of college kick-up,” snuggest Cousin Nogi. so!” I holla, “But Japan had another kind of has alw healthy National Sport for teach her cruelty. “What is “Hara-kiri,” 1 suicide motion peculiar to Samurai he require. pronounce, making cut-up. Hoping you are the same Yours truly Hasuimura Toco. (Per Wallace Irwin.) 783 A Thanksgiving Love-Song IVE thanks? ing light Of your dear eyes, Where, thro’ the darkness of the night, I saw sunrise; For all the gold of your bright hair, Your fragrant lips, The touch that lingers like a prayer, Your finger tips, Your tricksy jest, your sudden smile, Your loyal soul, Your bravery, your loving guile, Your sweetness whole, Your life that makes all beauty true-- Thro’ all the days, Beloved heart, for all of you Do I give praise! Leolyn Louise Everett. Yes, for the chang- Life’s Worry Club LASSES are now forming. All are invited to join. This is the greatest idea of the century. For some time it has been recognized that worry should be put on a practical basis. Many people are worrying aimlessly, without direction. They are not get- ting results. You can worry all the time without breaking down, if you only learn how. Morning classes in public worry from nine to twelve daily. The following subjects, among many others, are included in the course: I should worry For fear our coal will not fast more than one hundred years. Over what will happen to the women if they keep on dressing in their present style. Whether the currency bill will produce the most frightful disaster ever known to his- tory. Whether this Republic in its present form will last for- ever. Private classes in worry include the following: I should worry Over what would happen to me if my house should suddenly burn down some dark night without any previous warning. (If a New Yorker) Whether the play I am going to see to-night is as indecent as it has been rep- resented. Whether my wife is losing her hair, entailing untold expense for new imported supplies. Whether someone will forget to turn off the gas at night when Tam away on my annual fishing trip. Whether I shall have to lend money to an old school friend who may turn up any moment unexpectedly, Write for our terms. Worry about what they are until you know. Kid: noonco, Jest AS 1 WAS DREAM- ING I WAS BEING HELPED TER TURKEY JIMMY WOKED ME uP! comicbooks.com