Life — September 18, 1913 — page 11: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"IIS EABS Letters of a Japanese School-boy Are Hon. Win Seltzer More Sinful than other Governors ? To Editor “ Life” who understand politics among other jokes, AREST SIR:— I wish to ask you some en- quiry. If Hon. Harry Thaw are com- pelled by legal law to stay in for his crimes and Hon. Seltzer (Gov) are required by equally legal law to stay out for his crimes, what is it? Both have escaped away from Publick Institutions, yet when that valuable Seltzer man popyfed forth from Albany there was no sheriffs to drag him back. Are not his lunacy just as important like what Hon. Thaw done? I ask to know. My Cousin Nogi and me are now memberships of Japan- ese Thinking Society and we practice doing so % hour every morning. Yestidday Cousin while thinking, required following problemb of my brain: “For what were Gov Seltzer peached from office for?” “Because he spent Campane Fund buying Wall Street. This are very sinful.” This reply I mak “ How should Campane Fund be spent “ Buying oratory to tell lics to veters, purchasing Gyp- McBlood to murder folks on election day, paying for sifficient beer to make Eighth Ward too drunken to think about National Topics, bribing patriots to open ballet- boxes, buying Senators, clams, firecrackers and other illu- minations,” I report bashly. “Are it more sinful to spent money in buying Wall Street than in buying Gyp McBloods?” are next question for Nogi. “O yes is!” I snag- —_ ger. “For Gov of Tower Non * Albany to use Cam- pane Fund for to babble in Wall Street are very offensive to the Law of New York State.” “ What are the 1 of New York Stat require my ignora- mulous cousi “Hon. Chas _ F. Murphy,” I snignify. I was prepared to answer some more re- plies of this asphalt ogi negotiate. ing about Infantile Pragmatism which are more easy for his headache. Mr. Edi why Hon. that nearly it are not difficult for me to understand Itzer enjoyed kick-out; only I are surprised 1 other’ Governors are not similarly pushed off from their chairs. Must Governors be extra pure in New York State for to please Hon, Murphy, owner of that important real estate? I am delight to hear that Tammany Hall are so sensitive about crimes, and I hopes to hear how they soonly will start Good Government Crusade and remove themselves. Enlightened by this Thought I go sce Hon Irish salooner, who sells so much whiskey he cannot help understanding politics. “Hon. Sir,” I begin so, while purchasing slight beer- drunk, price 5c, “Why are this Seltzer man the most sin- ful of all Governor “He has always been a Friend of the Worker,” report Strunsky, him with a mean curse. “ Are that worse than something?” I ask out “Sure is!” he holla, “When a politician start in by being a Friend of the Worker, he usually end up by be- coming a Worker of Friends.” “Tell me more of his dishonest qualities,” distinctually “From early boyhood of youth He been regarded a Simple Character. gerous. Then look at his necktie! I attempt to do so. “A necktie like that,” Hon. Strunsky continue on, “can I ollicute lizer has always Phat are usally dan- nature, but my Cousin Nogi say he would rather spent the rest of his % hour think- “*A necktie like that,’ Hon. Strunsky continue on” comicbooks.com