Life — July 24, 1913 — page 34: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

oi bd hl ie ON FREE TRIAL "%& NO MONEY DOWN $2 per $25 Nom BURROWES RED CEDAR TRICK HENRY CHEST ees eT trom aati mich, detand dap * ft. Handsome piece of furntts WP exauisi tyes me prices. Write for eat The E. T. BURROWES CO.. _18 South St., Portland, Me. OUR FOOLISH CONTEMPORARIES i Sy The Predicament of a Suffragist A well-known university professor who ‘tas taken much interest in the woman's suffrage movement was persuaded to carry a banner in a parade that was held in New York some months ago. His wife observed him marching with a dejected air and carrying his banner so that it hung limply on its standard, and later she reproved him for not ma ing a better appearance. “Why didn’t you march like some- body and let people see your banner?” she said. My dear,” meckly replied the pro- fessor, “did you see what was on the banner? It read, ‘Any man can vote. Why can’t 12°"—Youth's Companion. Utilizing the By-Product “James,” said the efficiency expert, annoyed by the cheerful habit which his chauffeur had of whistling while at his work, “you should remember that the greatest fortunes nowadays are made from the by-products of waste. Her after when you whistle, whistle in the tires and save me the expense of a pump."—Harper’s Weekly. “I say, Major, what's good for in- fluenza besides whiskey?” “Good gad, sir! Who cares?” —London Opinion. He Took Chances A judge in a Western town had de- clared that he would stop the carrying of firearms on the street. Before him appeared for trial a tough youth charged with getting drunk and firing his re- volver in a crowded street. “Twenty dollars and costs,” said the magistrate. “But, your honor, sel for the prisoner, “my client did not hit anybody.” “Why, you admit that he fired the gun?” “Yes, but he fired it into the ai explained the lawyer. Twenty dollars and costs,” repeated the judge. “He might have shot an angel.""—Ladies’ Home Journal. interposed coun- Boosting the Outcast “But do you think these so-called settlements really do any good to the people who live down there?” “Well, I should just say they do! When Miss Climber was openly trying to break into society she was a pariah, but since she took that Girls’ Club at St. Cuthbert’s she’s been asked to eight ex- clusive teas, twelve ditto receptions, two balls, and has almost had a proposal from a millionaire."—The Masses. ARE YOU GOING TO MOVE? If you are, or if you have done so recently, don’t forget to notify LIFE of your changed address. The Post-Office will not forward a periodical as it will a letter. Therefore each week’s delay means a copy of LIFE lost. Don’t wait until you have moved before you notify us. When ordering a change give the old as well as the new addres Notice must reach us by Thurs- day to affect the following week’s issue. LIFE Subscription Department 17 West Thirty-first Street New York 10 0 ¢#2Havane Seconds$190 FROM FACTORY. ‘Made of pore Imported H You By PARCELS. 19 Picadora—teaves that are teo al ‘They're not pretty. Bare no lands or fancy decorat ton call them Diamonds in the roagh, None eborter than 49 inches, some even lon, bot you don't emel . We Meni yoa to 100 at this “"Get Acqoatated"’ price, Money cheerfully retanded if yoo don't receive at least doable value. Mention streagth when ordering. Our references, Dun of Bradetrect’s or any Bank. EDWIN CIGARCO..Inc.- Largest Mail Order Cigar House in the World DEPT. Gil 2338-2342 THIRD AVENUE. NEW YORK ; ALL SIZES THE IDEAL HAT for Motoring. Golfing, Traveling, Bus ness, Cool, prewy, Light, Weight one ounce. Made of best quality PURE SILK, strictly hand - tailored, _Olled Silk Sweat Hand. Colora—Black and White Check, Black, Navy, Brown, Light Grey, White. Price $1.50, State size. Also Boy's and Girl's sizes $1.50. Ties tomatch hats, four-in-hand and bows, He., 3 for $1.00. Ladies’ Hata, wider brim and fuller crown, $255, Belts to match, SOc. Satisfaction Guaranteed. GILBERT & COMPANY, = - = Decater, Mlinois. A Home Talk Husmaxo: You can put this down as settled, if I ever get out of it you will never catch me in matrimony again. Wire: You won't if you depend on me for reference.—Publie Ledger. The piquancy of a Sherbet is attained by using a dash of Abbott's Bitters. Sample of bitters by m: 2S cts. in stamps. C. W, Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. “Dopstxpay seems to think himself a very important person.” “Why, he can’t even stand on a street corner and wait for a trolley car with- out putting on as many airs as if he were laying a cornerstone.” —Birmingham Age-Herald. “1 BET A NICKEL I WEIGH MOI b0, MICK.” “Y'LL GO YE, BUT YE GOT TO TAKE OFF YER HAT AN’ COAT AN’ WASH YER HANDS AN’ FACE FOIST.” comicbooks.com