Life — July 24, 1913 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stolen from Life The eminent gentlemen who annually dredge the Thames in search of proof that Bacon wrote Shakespeare have been too busy to extract the following “cipher” from the works of the Bard of Avon, although it might be said to carry the most damaging evidence of literary piracy against the self-confessed “unlettered clerk.” S ometimes like apes that moe and chatter at me. The Tempest. T o let him spend his time no more at hom Two Gentlemen of Verona. O ut, alas, here comes my master! Merry Wives of Windsor. L et them work. Measure for Measure. E ven now, even here, not half an hour since. Comedy of Errors. No more words; the clerk is an- swered. Much Ado About Nothing. F it in his place and time. Love’s Labor Lost. R eason becomes the marshal to my will, Midsummer Night’s Dream. O nly attended by Nerissa here. Merchant of Venice. M y master is of churlish disposition. As You Like It. Let's be no stoics nor no stocks, I pray. Taming of the Shrew. I would it were hell-pains for thy sake. Al’s Well That Ends Well. F etch him off, I pray you. Twelfth Night. E ven with such life of majesty. Winter's Tale. F.H. M. Who Was Good “Mamma tells me you have not been spanked all day, Jane,” said the father upon his return home. “So you've been a good little girl all day?” “Tt isn't that. It is mother who has been angelic all da —Ladies’ Home Journal. "aces, i to eight days croming the ccean, and elt days pleasure trip thro” Merravean. “Sightseeing trips tn every port. Free stopovers. HELPS BROS. & CO...Gee. gts. 11 Battery Place. N.Y. “MADE AT al GARS Underground Garbage Receiver | NO ODORS. Fe VA He eee Wi UNKY Te ie All you have to do is to ask for Schlitz in Brown Bottles. but spoils the beer. “Beer acted upon by light soon takes up the very disagreeable, so-called ‘light taste,’ and also a repulsive, skunk-like odor,” Sunlight grows hops, says no less an authority than the Wahl-Henius Institute of Fermentology, the scientific authorities on the sub- ject. ‘‘Beer so affected,”’ they say, ‘‘is offensive to the palate of most consumers.”” Light starts decay even in pure beer. Dark glass gives the best protection against light. The Brown Bottle protects Schlitz purity from the brewery to your glass. Why don’t you, too, drink Schlitz? people every year are demanding it. More and more We started in a hut, Today our agencies dot the earth. Our output exceeds a million barrels a year. See that crown or cork is branded “Schlitz.” 29-M e Bee | That Made | Milwaukee Famous A Good Scotch Story The following Scotch tale is one of President Wilson's favorites: A Scotchman was strolling through the market place in Glasgow one day and close at his heels followed his faith- ful collie. Attracted by a fine display of shell and other fish the Scot stopped to admire, perhaps to purchase. The dog stood by, gently wagging its tail, while its master engaged the fishmonger in conversation, Unfortunately for the beastie its tail ful of fine, live lobsters. "Instantly one of the largest lobsters snapped its claws on the tail, and the surprised collie dashed off through the market, yelping with pain, while the lobster hung on erimly, though dashed violently from side to side. The fishmonger for a moment was specchless with indignation; then, turning to his prospective customer, he bawled : “Mon! mon! whustle to yer dog, whustle to yer dog!” “ Hoots, mon,” returned the other com- placently, “ whustle to yer lobster!” closes itself. Clean and sanitary. Sold al SHENSON, Mir-; “ie Farrar St., Lynn, Mass dropped for a moment over a big basket smuNesd Wek act comicbooks.com