Life, 1913-06-19 · page 36 of 52
Life — June 19, 1913 — page 36: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three brief satirical pieces typical of early 20th-century American humor magazines: **"A Ruthless Rhyme for Militants"** references the British suffragette movement, where activists (like Lily Constance Lenton, known as "Tiger Lil") committed property destruction—smashing royal jewels, drowning a keeper—to demand voting rights. The satire mocks suffragettes by suggesting their radical tactics are merely childish pranks motivated by wanting to vote. **"She Knew the Count"** satirizes naive heiresses marrying foreign nobility. The joke: a Toledo girl married a count despite warnings he was merely after her money. The punchline's dark humor lies in her reply that the count never pays his bills anyway—implying even his deception is incompetent. **"Oh, Poor Willie!"** is gentler humor about a mother's garbled excuse note for her son's absence from school, conflating "a.m." (morning) with "a. m." (presumably her abbreviation). The page is primarily advertisements for perfume, ramie fiber, and motor oils, which dominated Life's revenue.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A Ruthless Rhyme for Militants Lily smashed the royal gems And drowned the keeper in the Thames! What does this girlish prank denote? Oh, just that Lily wants to vote. —Brooklyn Eagle. She Knew the Count Mayor Whitlock of Toledo was talk- ing about a Toledo heiress who had married a count. “Well, at any rate,” said he, “the girl seemed convinced that the count had no unworthy motive “*Don't you know,’ a friend said to her, some months before the wedding, ‘don’t you know that the count is simply marrying you for your money, so that he can pay his bills?’ “*Nonsense!’ she replied. ‘The count never thinks of paying his bills. —New York Tribune. Oh, Poor Willie! Willic had been absent from school a whole day, so teacher sent his mother the usual excuse blank to be filled out. When it was returned to her, it held the following excuse: “Dear teecher Willie got wet in the a. m, and sick in the p. m."—Woman's Home Companion. Issues. prior to 1910 out of print. sutributions will be returned wl elf responsibte Jor the for MURRAY LAN Florida Water “THE UNIVERSAL PERFUME ”” In World-wide Use for Over a Century. ROBABLY your grand- mother usal it; surely your mother does. Possibly i use it yourself, and know how cooling and refreshing it is in the Bath and Basin, how reviving on the Hand- kerchief, how truly indis- pensable in the Bath-room and on the Dressing-table. If you do not,—try it and see What you are missing. Ask Your Druggist for It. Accept no Substitute! Sample size maited for six cents in stamps, Ask for our booklet, “Health and Beauty.” Lanman & Kemp, 135 Water New York | | | | | = He: Do You FEEL VERY WICKED NOW RIED THE NEW DANCE? FEEL MORE DANCED Gossip Shg loves me. She told me she loved me last night. You doubt it? I don’t, for I'm sure that I'm right. She kissed me. That's not a sign, did you say? You're wrong, sir. It all depends on the way. i She fool me? Ob, never! I know that she loves. You smile, sir? I tell you, we kissed like two doves. She married? Oh, nonsense! You swear it? Good Lord! So she’s married to you? —Punch Bowl. Can't ever be true. Inclusive The following announcement con- cluded an account of a wedding in a small Massachusetts town: “The bridegroom's gift to the bride was a handsome diamond brooch, be- sides many other beautiful things in cut-glass.”—Harper’s. Master or tHe Howse: See here, Mary Ann, where's my dinner? Stavey: Theer ain't agoin’ to be no dinner, if you please, sir. “What's that! No dinner?” “No, sir. The missus came ‘ome from jail this afternoon, an’ ate up hevery- think in th’ ‘ouse!"” —Cleveland Plain-Dealer. ied by stamped and addressed envelope. of wnssticited Contributions. Lave is-published every Theray, simultaneonsly” in the United States, Great Britain, Canada and Beitish Foxsessions, ‘atries in the Postal Union, $1.08 to Canada, ree mouths trom date of pul Leadse, The tes Lave doce woe Live fs forsale by all newntealers jn Great Dritaln and may be obtained tr cities’ at tha Geld, "The fecelgn wade supplied tom Live's London Ofice, Cannon Howe, Breams Buildings Prompt not(fication should be sent by subscribers of any change of addrest, booksellers in all the princira! re copyrighted. For Reprint Rights in Great Britain oppiy to Livre, The Original Ramie Fibre is, guaranteed absolutely pure (100 per cent.) Ramie Linen, not adulterated with cotton, or other inferior materials. The United States Government Report 7 of the Department of Agriculture, Fibre Investigation. pro- nounces Ramie the most wonderful and valuable of all. fibres. It is endorsed hy the highest medical authorities of the world for its hygienic properties, and as a perfect material for Health Underwear. The Schlichten Ramie summer-weight garments are a luxury for hot weather, the Ramie Linen beiny deliciously cool, having the highest absorbing an evaporating power of all known textile substances. For sale by leading dealers everywhere. If your dealer cannot supply you, we can direct you to one who can, Write us for booklet andesamples. SCHLICHTEN-RAMIE COMPANY 357 Fourth Ave., N. Y. Reg. U.S. Pat. Of, r</ Genuine Chihuahua Motor Boats As in Motor Cars Proper Lubrication Means Increased Power HARRIS OILS are America’s foremost lubri- cants. Put them to the service-test and note their real superiority. Made of the finest Pennsylvania Crude Stock. “A Little Goes A Long Way And Every Drop Counts.” A. W. HARRIS OIL COMPANY 326 S, Water $e, Provi , 1S Ro, Wiha Ane Cilesee and y them girl's “) replic