Life — February 6, 1913 — page 32: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Nature and Necessity Those who have ever hunted flats in New York know well that till a rental of five thousand or six thousand dollars a year is reached flats are incredibly cramped. Indeed, in a good neighbor- hood even a five thousand dollar flat is likely to be a tiny one. Discussing this phenomenon, Profes- sor Brander Matthews said at a lunch- con: “IT remarked to a lady the other day “Why, madam, your dog wags his tail up and down!’ “*Yes,’ she replied, ‘he has to. We ate ‘comparatively, ‘poor, you “see, and Fido was raised in a five thousand dol- lar flat.’ "—Tribune. Oxe of the big railroad lines has a regular form of reporting accidents to animals on its line. Recently a cow was killed and the track foreman drew up the report. In answer to the ques- tion, “Disposition of carcass?” he “Kind and gentle.” —Our Animals wrote: Dees FORCE OF HABIT Beggar: Witt YOU PLEASE, SIR, GIVE ME TEN CENTS FOR A NIGHT'S LODGING? Philanthropist: ut Give you Five CENTS IF YOU RAISE THE OTHER FIVE In Wrong (A Little Medieval Thing.) By a feudal castle stron; In the sweet nocturnal air, Sat a knight and sang a song To his love, a lady fair, Who was fast asleep In the donjon keep. “Surely you will heed my son (All his chant was of this “Or I shall explode ere long, With a deafening report, (Not a help, I fear, In a man's career.”) “Surely, darling, to the brim You will fill contentment’s cup.” (This he sang with such a vim That he woke the lady up)— “What's that noise?” she called. Louder still he bawled: “Surely you will be my wife, Fill me with cestatic bliss, Beautify my empty life With an cighteen-carat kiss!” “Surely not?” said she. “My mistake,” said he. —Thomas R. Ybarra in New York Times. Lipa is publishet every Thursday, simultaneously in the United States, Great Be Poses age to foreign countries i Single current copies. 10 cents, Back numbers, date of publication, 25 cents. Issuer prior to 1910 out of print. | 2 year; to Canada, $2 ce $.00 a year No contribution will be returned unless accompanied br stamped and addresed rupensible for the los or non-return of unlisted contributions. in, Canada and British rostal Un f three months trom Lave. js for sale by all ne London, E. C. dealers in Great Britain and may be obtained from booksellers in all the princigal $1.04 citievof the world, The foreign trade supplied trom Liva’s London Orice. Cannon House, Hreams Be:idings The text and illustrations in Lave. are copsrighted, Fer Reprint Rights in Great Britain apply uv Lape, 118 Lave dees mae held ital Prompt matifica a | Fine Table Linens ; -At“The Linen Store” “The Linen Store’ has always maintained the highest standard of quality in its Table Linens. Our aim has ever been to give our patrons the very best values and to afford them the widest possible choice in de- signs, sizes and styles. It is this policy which has brought Mother, Daughter and Granddaughter to our counters during the past fifty-seven years. Poppy,” “Greek Key and Block,” “ “Athenian,” and “Laurel with Lattic NAPKINS, $2.00 to $75.00 per dozen. TABLE CLOTHS, $2.50 to $60.00 each. Mail orders receive our prompt attention. James McCutcheon & Co., 5th Ave. & 34thStreet,N.Y. O) Dy Southampton Revo, Londen, W’. C. 1d be sent by pubseribers of any chante of addren, Among the latest patterns are the “Celtic,” “Lotus and mpire,” “Olympic,” Prices range: MELLOW AS. MOONLIGHT, %w@® 1 A Trade Mark —J No friend like an old friend CASCADE PURE WHISKY Mellow friends are friend with age — its to-day comicbooks.com first